Arg. I really don't like it that I have fewer and fewer happy stories to regale the few readers I have.
My latest one comes from my ex-spouse who sends me an email Friday night saying "Surprise! I'm taking our kids out of province. We'll be back Wednesday late."
I first hear about this when I try to leave a message on the other home's answering machine to tell her a friend has called. The person left-behind informs me of the status of my children, and there begins the unraveling of the evening.
Emails go back and forth. I'm forthright saying that the agreement states that for a 72 hour absence the absentee parent is required to provide the other parent with travel details. I'm told "oh... do we have to go that far ...?"
I ask again, could you just provide me with the travel details - car, train or plane and the addresses they're staying at. I get some of the information (not where they're staying overnight at the 1/4 way point, and not a land line telephone number). And I get CAPITAL LETTERS showing me how pissed I've made the fellow.
Sigh. I'm getting verbally crucified for wanting to take the children to the neighboring State for a day trip (not even 3 hours in the States!) to pick up some traveling relatives, and they can't provide me with the basics of where I kids will be.
Derfwads!
The double-standards have left me with a face-ache that's been running for three-weeks now.
On top of it all, I've had a child who's had a meltdown and has asked me to provide assistance with communication to the other household regarding living arrangement preferences. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.
What to do. I'd like to get counseling for the child, but can't do this without the father's consent. (I'm thinking that might help her diffuse the situation from her end of things, and/or help her find a voice to speak her mind to fix the situation, what ever it is.) The likelihood of getting consent is about the same odds of me winning the 649, providing I play. (Though there is the Kids Phone Helpline.)
I've been asked by a number of people whom I've asked for advice, what happens if she just refuses to go ... good question. I don't know what that would mean to me, to the child who is well under the age of 16).
Dear readers, do you know any one who's been in a similar position who's made it through whole?
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3 comments:
I hate to say this, but I'm thinking that mediation between you and the ex would not be remiss.
Depending on the terms of the custody and divorce agreements, violating such terms as not communicating travel details with you could result in a loss of visitation for him.
I'd suggest a phone to your lawyer for advice.
First, he voliated a legal agreement and needs to be reminded of such. Maybe a casual reminder thrown in he could end up in jail next time.
As for one of the child not wanting to go - they are old enough as of 12 as per the courts to decide. Do you have a neutral friend / family member that could help with the talks? I went thru this with WB and his Dad, so if you want to talk more you have my email.
Hang in there.
Offer it up to God.
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