Bad to say that a blog entry has to start with that. But this is different. It's a good survival. We survived pizza night with CU-1 and 2 successfully inviting a friend over each for dinner. We even got an extra cling-on that CU-1's invitee knew and thus a mutual friend of the two.
The highlight of the evening was CU-2 coming in to tell me that a neighbor two houses down came out and asked my children to be quiet because she was trying to watch TV. HA! I've lived on this block for four years and have yearned for the sound of children screaming with glee and pleasure. Apparently she prefers a more adult street.
Who knows if she's going to get to see that soon. We've had a LOT of homes up and down for sale within hours of an open house taking place. The latest that's up is next to the day care. They're having an open house on Sunday. I figure DH and I will take in the place after the adventures with DXH and assemblage.
On that note, I'm still not sure how things are going to shake out. A quick touch-base with CU-2 is an interesting barometer of the situation. Being way to old in character then the tender * years on the planet, she said she didn't know why we were doing it when we don't like one another.
My response was that it's because we love them so much that we do those kinds of things.
I also gaged her receptiveness to showing her room, if a tour of the house is an option. She said she wanted her door closed. Her choice.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A two fold problem
DH and I are going through a bumpy batch. A lot of turbulence. It's pretty rough. Like really cheap toilet paper.
You could suggest that my suggestion to build a porch is at the heart of the problem. I don't think it is.
Currently we're waiting for news about refinancing to attend to the last costs associated with the reconstruction of the house. That news should be through either today or tomorrow.
Meanwhile, DH is panicking like only he knows how. (Actually I've done it too, just not about money.)
He's panicking that some how we're going to loose the house. This, I think, is his biggest fear. You see, we have to come up with about $10k more to pay off the contractor. Meanwhile, he'd like to merge all of our debts so that repayment is lower. Ok. Sounds reasonable. Right? Wrong. Not in his eyes. He's panicking that the financing will not be enough (even though the mortgage broker has said she could get enough money herself). So, there should be no issue.
Oh now. Yesterday night we had a slap-fest (where I reverted to calling him a RAT [oooohhhh big name calling there eh? What's next calling him Baby La La? Ouch that'll sting]) because he was sandbagging the conversation (we're one paycheck away from loosing the house [not true], we wouldn't survive if there was a lay off [I'm am contractually obligated to return to work for a year at the end of the maternity leave, and it's unlikely the Feds are so bloated right now that there will be layoffs. DH just got a personalized pen from work, and is fast tracked to get his performance review and retroactive raise in place). Hmmm. And on when the in-comprehensive blather. (Yes DH, if you dare read this - it was blather - as I exposed a realistic light on each of your concerns.) Not even a call to your mother, to try and get your fears settled there, soothed you.
Really, WTF is the problem with talking to people to get a free estimate on the costs associated with building a porch? FREE ESTIMATE. NO OBLIGATION. It's called educating yourself.
For the record, each time I've asked you about the freaking porch - I've started small - can we move the stairs to the entryway from the left side to the right side. Can we look at options and solutions available to us? What are all the options for this fiscal year?
You some how mis-hear this and start hearing full blown plans for the porch. Because of your willingness to talk about the porch (and then the subsequent five-year landscaping plan) I run with is. Tooo many times have I been sucked into this cycle.
Now - part two - my side of things, as I see it.
I'm at home .... all day ... almost every day. Work doesn't want me to come in right now. They've got nothing for me to do that I could do from home, that doesn't require face-to-face contact with external clients.
Cleaning, painting and laundry are not my favorite things. Playing with CU-4 is nice, though not so fulfilling for me as I didn't receive the full motherly gene - especially for this age.
I get to look at and use unfinished parts of the house every day, all day. I see every bruise, every wrinkle ALL THE TIME. When you get home, I get a stressed out guy. Gee, like I haven't been dealing with that for a good part of the day. I get a tired guy. Gee, it's not like I don't get to deal with tired people at all all day, every day. (And this is also on night of broken sleep five days a week, often more.)
There is so much I can't do. There is so much I could do. However, like you and the wall project, I want some one -- YOU -- to be there for me so that we can walk and talk our way through the problems.
I'm not a big spender. You should know that by now. I do want things to be moved to a place where I then could pick up the hammer and do something.
I am feeling a lot of things right now. Unfulfilled is probably the biggest thing.
So, unfulfilled meets your issues that you bring home from work, plus the house issues that still are not solidified, plus future financial issues. Doesn't help that I've actually lowered my guard to such an extent where I have come to rely on you as a partner.
It's a pretty sucky place for us to be right now.
End of blather.
You could suggest that my suggestion to build a porch is at the heart of the problem. I don't think it is.
Currently we're waiting for news about refinancing to attend to the last costs associated with the reconstruction of the house. That news should be through either today or tomorrow.
Meanwhile, DH is panicking like only he knows how. (Actually I've done it too, just not about money.)
He's panicking that some how we're going to loose the house. This, I think, is his biggest fear. You see, we have to come up with about $10k more to pay off the contractor. Meanwhile, he'd like to merge all of our debts so that repayment is lower. Ok. Sounds reasonable. Right? Wrong. Not in his eyes. He's panicking that the financing will not be enough (even though the mortgage broker has said she could get enough money herself). So, there should be no issue.
Oh now. Yesterday night we had a slap-fest (where I reverted to calling him a RAT [oooohhhh big name calling there eh? What's next calling him Baby La La? Ouch that'll sting]) because he was sandbagging the conversation (we're one paycheck away from loosing the house [not true], we wouldn't survive if there was a lay off [I'm am contractually obligated to return to work for a year at the end of the maternity leave, and it's unlikely the Feds are so bloated right now that there will be layoffs. DH just got a personalized pen from work, and is fast tracked to get his performance review and retroactive raise in place). Hmmm. And on when the in-comprehensive blather. (Yes DH, if you dare read this - it was blather - as I exposed a realistic light on each of your concerns.) Not even a call to your mother, to try and get your fears settled there, soothed you.
Really, WTF is the problem with talking to people to get a free estimate on the costs associated with building a porch? FREE ESTIMATE. NO OBLIGATION. It's called educating yourself.
For the record, each time I've asked you about the freaking porch - I've started small - can we move the stairs to the entryway from the left side to the right side. Can we look at options and solutions available to us? What are all the options for this fiscal year?
You some how mis-hear this and start hearing full blown plans for the porch. Because of your willingness to talk about the porch (and then the subsequent five-year landscaping plan) I run with is. Tooo many times have I been sucked into this cycle.
Now - part two - my side of things, as I see it.
I'm at home .... all day ... almost every day. Work doesn't want me to come in right now. They've got nothing for me to do that I could do from home, that doesn't require face-to-face contact with external clients.
Cleaning, painting and laundry are not my favorite things. Playing with CU-4 is nice, though not so fulfilling for me as I didn't receive the full motherly gene - especially for this age.
I get to look at and use unfinished parts of the house every day, all day. I see every bruise, every wrinkle ALL THE TIME. When you get home, I get a stressed out guy. Gee, like I haven't been dealing with that for a good part of the day. I get a tired guy. Gee, it's not like I don't get to deal with tired people at all all day, every day. (And this is also on night of broken sleep five days a week, often more.)
There is so much I can't do. There is so much I could do. However, like you and the wall project, I want some one -- YOU -- to be there for me so that we can walk and talk our way through the problems.
I'm not a big spender. You should know that by now. I do want things to be moved to a place where I then could pick up the hammer and do something.
I am feeling a lot of things right now. Unfulfilled is probably the biggest thing.
So, unfulfilled meets your issues that you bring home from work, plus the house issues that still are not solidified, plus future financial issues. Doesn't help that I've actually lowered my guard to such an extent where I have come to rely on you as a partner.
It's a pretty sucky place for us to be right now.
End of blather.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Vocabulary builder
Is has been reported that my dearest CU-3, my gentile CU-3, my baby has used the word CRAP.
DH was the one to report this too me. Allegedly CU-3 said she was hungry. When asked what she wanted for breakfast, she brightly chirps up "Crap! I wannnnnnt it."
Not sure that he was hearing correctly, DH has CU-3 to repeat. "I wannnnnnt crap."
Though it took DH a couple of more times to decipher what CU-3 really wanted (candy for breakfast), I am happy to report that CU-3 eventually did get fed and had a crap-free breakfast.
DH was the one to report this too me. Allegedly CU-3 said she was hungry. When asked what she wanted for breakfast, she brightly chirps up "Crap! I wannnnnnt it."
Not sure that he was hearing correctly, DH has CU-3 to repeat. "I wannnnnnt crap."
Though it took DH a couple of more times to decipher what CU-3 really wanted (candy for breakfast), I am happy to report that CU-3 eventually did get fed and had a crap-free breakfast.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Better then a soap opera
XDH responds:
see you then,
My response:
CU-2's interest in dance is general. We've talked about it for over a year. There is a studio near the SuperStore on Richmond which she could attend. However,if you choose to register her to the one closer to your home, could you please provide me with the details. We will make every effort to get her to her lessons.
Do you need additional information so that the children can attend their other extra curricular activities?
See you Sunday, September 23rd. I'm sure CU-1 is thrilled with your accepting the invitation. This could go a long way to bringing peace to both households.
* * * * *
What the $#%@ was I thinking? :D
Re: Kung Fu classes: CU-1 and Partner of DXH take private lessons 3 times a week - the benefit of regular attendance is built in. CU-1 gets more focused time on Saturdays, Mondays and Wednesdays, the classes are designed for them, the test are schedule in accordance to their knowledge.
CU_2's interest for dance lesson is linked with her friend, if we were to enroll her she would want to be in the same class, so I would not choose the location, I was told that the studio is in the west end, less than 5 minutes away.
Thanks for the invitation, Doglette, Partner of DXH and I can make it Sunday after 13:00 - (sunday is the 23rd not the 22nd)
My response:
CU-2's interest in dance is general. We've talked about it for over a year. There is a studio near the SuperStore on Richmond which she could attend. However,if you choose to register her to the one closer to your home, could you please provide me with the details. We will make every effort to get her to her lessons.
Do you need additional information so that the children can attend their other extra curricular activities?
See you Sunday, September 23rd. I'm sure CU-1 is thrilled with your accepting the invitation. This could go a long way to bringing peace to both households.
* * * * *
What the $#%@ was I thinking? :D
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Playing chicken
DXH writes:
"CU-1 mentioned on several occasions that you agreed to invite us over to your house in order for the pets to meet and to sample some of your homemade treats (ice cream sandwiches, cake, and other goodies). Let us know if you still want us over and what time would be convenient for you.)"
I respond:
"I appreciate your willingness to come for a visit. CU-1 and I have talked about it many times. How about Sunday, September 22 at 1:00 p.m.? Please advise if you are able to make that date. I will work with CU-1 to prepare a treat for your visit."
"CU-1 mentioned on several occasions that you agreed to invite us over to your house in order for the pets to meet and to sample some of your homemade treats (ice cream sandwiches, cake, and other goodies). Let us know if you still want us over and what time would be convenient for you.)"
I respond:
"I appreciate your willingness to come for a visit. CU-1 and I have talked about it many times. How about Sunday, September 22 at 1:00 p.m.? Please advise if you are able to make that date. I will work with CU-1 to prepare a treat for your visit."
Humor in the every day
Lately I've not been blogging about humorous stuff. It seems that the day-to-day-to-day-to-day grind has really busted my chops. The constant hurling of insults, the scrapping and the flying of fur (and that's just between the cats!) has taken a tole.
Today is different though. I've been reading www.megfowler.com as part of my morning ritual (as well as FBorFW and Miss Vicky's Offhand Remarks) and love them all to pieces. They're funny, frequently insightful and take me other places then where I am. Which is a good thing as I usually obsess about stuff going on in my immediate hand-span area.
In this week's request to post from Meg, she asked to write a list of things that others talk way too much about. Though number one was an easy tree to shake (my DXH), I poled DH to see if there was anything else I was nattering on about that bothered him. (It turned out to be an interesting survey as apparently he doesn't pay close attention to what I say.)
So while pursuing other people's lists, I found a couple other links that got put on my quick task navigation bar. Congratulations to Raising the wrecking crew and This chick's life. More traffic to you! ;-)
Today is different though. I've been reading www.megfowler.com as part of my morning ritual (as well as FBorFW and Miss Vicky's Offhand Remarks) and love them all to pieces. They're funny, frequently insightful and take me other places then where I am. Which is a good thing as I usually obsess about stuff going on in my immediate hand-span area.
In this week's request to post from Meg, she asked to write a list of things that others talk way too much about. Though number one was an easy tree to shake (my DXH), I poled DH to see if there was anything else I was nattering on about that bothered him. (It turned out to be an interesting survey as apparently he doesn't pay close attention to what I say.)
So while pursuing other people's lists, I found a couple other links that got put on my quick task navigation bar. Congratulations to Raising the wrecking crew and This chick's life. More traffic to you! ;-)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mixed nuts
In a fit of frustration, I yelled at two of my CUs "ARE YOU NUTS?"
When they didn't respond (and I realized I was yelling because of my own anxiety arising from managing the immediate surroundings [crossing the street]), I immediately toned down my voice and said "Yah you are. You (pointing to CU-2) are a peanut. You (pointing to CU-3) are a cashew."
Whew. Another parenting foible skim-coated.
* * * * *
During the quieter moments of this weekend (which were very few and very far between), I got to thinking about self-promotion. I had been moving some of my photographs around the house, trying to cover up some of the bald spots, when I got to thinking about the studio tour going on this weekend, and how it's a chance for artists to show their work in their studios. As a photographer, I don't have a studio where I create art. As a photographer, it's harder to find places that will show my work because most don't see photography as art. Thus the conundrum - how to self-promote?
So, here I was thinking what about a Kitchen Gallery? (That's where I currently have four mini-shows going on right now! I started pulling through the ideas - one Saturday a month - 2 to 4 p.m. having a vernisage, show the work?? Crazy. I think I'm a Buckeye.
When they didn't respond (and I realized I was yelling because of my own anxiety arising from managing the immediate surroundings [crossing the street]), I immediately toned down my voice and said "Yah you are. You (pointing to CU-2) are a peanut. You (pointing to CU-3) are a cashew."
Whew. Another parenting foible skim-coated.
* * * * *
During the quieter moments of this weekend (which were very few and very far between), I got to thinking about self-promotion. I had been moving some of my photographs around the house, trying to cover up some of the bald spots, when I got to thinking about the studio tour going on this weekend, and how it's a chance for artists to show their work in their studios. As a photographer, I don't have a studio where I create art. As a photographer, it's harder to find places that will show my work because most don't see photography as art. Thus the conundrum - how to self-promote?
So, here I was thinking what about a Kitchen Gallery? (That's where I currently have four mini-shows going on right now! I started pulling through the ideas - one Saturday a month - 2 to 4 p.m. having a vernisage, show the work?? Crazy. I think I'm a Buckeye.
Friday, September 07, 2007
MegFowler made me do it
MegFowler over at MegFoweler.com has come up with the idea of the Friday love list. Great idea.
Here's what I put up in response to her quest to share:
picking veggies in the garden
a really really good book that draws you through with velocity and force
snail mail mail
mailboxes on posts (country style)
overgrown or messy gardens
shoes that fit
going to bed and actually being able to sleep
garlic (I’m cooking with it right now!)
Pizza night
When Child Unit 3 says it’s a beautiful day
going to Giant Tiger just to look at stuff
trips to the library with everyone in tow
Autumn
Here's what I put up in response to her quest to share:
picking veggies in the garden
a really really good book that draws you through with velocity and force
snail mail mail
mailboxes on posts (country style)
overgrown or messy gardens
shoes that fit
going to bed and actually being able to sleep
garlic (I’m cooking with it right now!)
Pizza night
When Child Unit 3 says it’s a beautiful day
going to Giant Tiger just to look at stuff
trips to the library with everyone in tow
Autumn
It's Annie Lennox time again
Remember her?
Well, when I went to drop off CU-4 today, CU-1 was re-coiffed, as he'd mentioned yesterday. I wonder if he'll ever see the natural colour of his hair ... Oh well, it is only hair. (Oh, and, well, now, he looks MORE like CU-4, though CU-4 has more!)
Keep your head up -- Movin' on
Well, when I went to drop off CU-4 today, CU-1 was re-coiffed, as he'd mentioned yesterday. I wonder if he'll ever see the natural colour of his hair ... Oh well, it is only hair. (Oh, and, well, now, he looks MORE like CU-4, though CU-4 has more!)
Keep your head up -- Movin' on
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)
Annie Lennox
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Annie Lennox
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Breaking a confidence
Ok. Here goes. I'm breaking my CU-2's confidence in the biggest of ways. I need to record this in some way, and I need to throw this out to the universe (and all my critics) just to get it out of my head.
Last week, when CU-2 was home, she sidled up to me and asked me if she could talk to me. As she didn't really respond to my question about timing (right now, or later). So she led me to the "sacred space" aka the parent's bedroom where she started to unpack the baggage.
Out came her angst about her father and his partner. About her struggle with her feelings towards the rules and inhabitants of her other home. She commented that she loved her father dearly. She didn't like that she was told to stay in her room until they were ready for her to come out. That she couldn't play freely with her neighborhood friend or use the computer as liberally as she has there. And then there's the subject of his partner's car, window control and breath. (If I'm going to break confidence, in for a penny, in for a pound.)
I listened carefully, not offering comment (I think I bit my tongue more then once), except to ask her how she felt about something, or what she thought would be a better solution.
I offered to roll-play with her. I suggested that if she couldn't talk to her father without tearing up (or breaking down as she had done with me), that she could write out her thoughts and read it to him. (With that suggestion, she got a panic-stricken look on her face for fear that her father's partner would see [and eventually hear] what she had to say.)
We got to a point where she had enough talking. She felt comfortable with my suggestions that she talk to her father, asking for his attention alone - by going for a walk, a drive in the car, or, as she'd done with me, finding a quiet place to talk, so that she had his attention.
I encouraged her to think about what she wanted to say, and find an appropriate time to talk - not when he's busy with any one else, or by anything else.
* * *
I saw her a couple of times this week. Twice before DXH's partner came to pick up the children. (DXH was out of town this week ...) Each time I saw her, she started by saying "I didn't talk to him yet." No "Bonjour Maman!" She's very very preoccupied by the weight of her need to discuss things with her father.
Today I mentioned that, as he was supposed to be home today from his trip, she may want to wait until the next rotation to talk to him. She told me "Maybe" then "I can't wait. I have to talk to him tonight."
Ok. So, here I am, eating my way through stuff because of my increasing anxiety level. DH and I have roll-played responses to an almost guaranteed nasty email radiating from his side of the fence about me propagating this discussion.
If he only did his homework about pubescent children and how they start to look at their worlds differently. This will be another foray into her exploring the more adult world.
Good luck on your negotiations kiddo. I sure hope he opens his eyes, ears and heart to you.
Last week, when CU-2 was home, she sidled up to me and asked me if she could talk to me. As she didn't really respond to my question about timing (right now, or later). So she led me to the "sacred space" aka the parent's bedroom where she started to unpack the baggage.
Out came her angst about her father and his partner. About her struggle with her feelings towards the rules and inhabitants of her other home. She commented that she loved her father dearly. She didn't like that she was told to stay in her room until they were ready for her to come out. That she couldn't play freely with her neighborhood friend or use the computer as liberally as she has there. And then there's the subject of his partner's car, window control and breath. (If I'm going to break confidence, in for a penny, in for a pound.)
I listened carefully, not offering comment (I think I bit my tongue more then once), except to ask her how she felt about something, or what she thought would be a better solution.
I offered to roll-play with her. I suggested that if she couldn't talk to her father without tearing up (or breaking down as she had done with me), that she could write out her thoughts and read it to him. (With that suggestion, she got a panic-stricken look on her face for fear that her father's partner would see [and eventually hear] what she had to say.)
We got to a point where she had enough talking. She felt comfortable with my suggestions that she talk to her father, asking for his attention alone - by going for a walk, a drive in the car, or, as she'd done with me, finding a quiet place to talk, so that she had his attention.
I encouraged her to think about what she wanted to say, and find an appropriate time to talk - not when he's busy with any one else, or by anything else.
* * *
I saw her a couple of times this week. Twice before DXH's partner came to pick up the children. (DXH was out of town this week ...) Each time I saw her, she started by saying "I didn't talk to him yet." No "Bonjour Maman!" She's very very preoccupied by the weight of her need to discuss things with her father.
Today I mentioned that, as he was supposed to be home today from his trip, she may want to wait until the next rotation to talk to him. She told me "Maybe" then "I can't wait. I have to talk to him tonight."
Ok. So, here I am, eating my way through stuff because of my increasing anxiety level. DH and I have roll-played responses to an almost guaranteed nasty email radiating from his side of the fence about me propagating this discussion.
If he only did his homework about pubescent children and how they start to look at their worlds differently. This will be another foray into her exploring the more adult world.
Good luck on your negotiations kiddo. I sure hope he opens his eyes, ears and heart to you.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
On again, off again
Since Mondayish, I've had an on-again, off-again relationship with my computer. My motherboard crashed and I've been (or rather DH) has been trying to re-piece parts of my virtual life back together.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I'm coming back on line. No email yet, but I have access to the outside world to read news and I'm now available through Yahoo!
Slowly, ever so slowly, I'm coming back on line. No email yet, but I have access to the outside world to read news and I'm now available through Yahoo!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Foibles
Growing up I was the usual, including being admonished for being messy. I've carried that yoke all my life - through single-dom, through marriage, through being a divorcée, back to being married. The yoke hasn't been any easier to carry as I get older. I've just learned to carry the criticism with more grace or absorb it with less visible emotions.
By far, I would say, keeping house as a married woman is the most difficult. There is a strong point of view of many people that the house should be spic and span no matter that the wife/mother/woman-of-the-house may have put in an eight hour day at a paying job, plus the commute, plus the seven hours of parenting (home work, face washing, teeth brushing, and playing with the children). (I just finished The Nanny Diaries. Apparently not all of us have these problems.)
Getting CU-2 to do the math, you have 10 hours left in the day. (I know. I know. CU's back to school tomorrow.)
While I wish, some days, that I had the extra hour, I'm looking at 9 hours. Many doctors report that people should get on average 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night to feel good, be more productive, and avoid getting sick.
So, here's the coin toss. Walk through the house and tidy the kitchen (putting away the clean dishes from the time saving washing machine, and reloading the dishes, putting out the garbage, picking up the remainders of toys, and school supplies left by the walking CUs, and generally trying to put things in their place (or find a new place for things that come into the house), followed by the living room (straightening, sweeping, picking up), followed by choosing to put the stuff on the stairs (that is perpetually ignored) or running it up to the CU's bedrooms. Well, I could do that for a two hours, or sleep. If I don't do it, the mess piles up on itself. If I do do it, I cut into valuable sleep time, and that's if I can sleep. (My own personal anxieties come into play here.)
Any one reading this would know this routine all too well.
So, what triggered the latest bout of public remorse? Correspondence with our contractor. Apparently the slow down on the project is directly related to the state of our home during construction. (It doesn't seem to matter that 1. they saw what they were getting into, 2. they were told to talk to us if they had any problems accessing places, they were to say something. They didn't. That they also left the detailed work on every room for weeks, which left us with stacks and stacks of unsorted piles seems to be par for the course.)
Anyway, I'm feeling public admonishment and it's bring a wave of sadness. Getting emails from the contractor are about as much fun as getting them from dear XDH.
I'm just not feeling competent today.
By far, I would say, keeping house as a married woman is the most difficult. There is a strong point of view of many people that the house should be spic and span no matter that the wife/mother/woman-of-the-house may have put in an eight hour day at a paying job, plus the commute, plus the seven hours of parenting (home work, face washing, teeth brushing, and playing with the children). (I just finished The Nanny Diaries. Apparently not all of us have these problems.)
Getting CU-2 to do the math, you have 10 hours left in the day. (I know. I know. CU's back to school tomorrow.)
While I wish, some days, that I had the extra hour, I'm looking at 9 hours. Many doctors report that people should get on average 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night to feel good, be more productive, and avoid getting sick.
So, here's the coin toss. Walk through the house and tidy the kitchen (putting away the clean dishes from the time saving washing machine, and reloading the dishes, putting out the garbage, picking up the remainders of toys, and school supplies left by the walking CUs, and generally trying to put things in their place (or find a new place for things that come into the house), followed by the living room (straightening, sweeping, picking up), followed by choosing to put the stuff on the stairs (that is perpetually ignored) or running it up to the CU's bedrooms. Well, I could do that for a two hours, or sleep. If I don't do it, the mess piles up on itself. If I do do it, I cut into valuable sleep time, and that's if I can sleep. (My own personal anxieties come into play here.)
Any one reading this would know this routine all too well.
So, what triggered the latest bout of public remorse? Correspondence with our contractor. Apparently the slow down on the project is directly related to the state of our home during construction. (It doesn't seem to matter that 1. they saw what they were getting into, 2. they were told to talk to us if they had any problems accessing places, they were to say something. They didn't. That they also left the detailed work on every room for weeks, which left us with stacks and stacks of unsorted piles seems to be par for the course.)
Anyway, I'm feeling public admonishment and it's bring a wave of sadness. Getting emails from the contractor are about as much fun as getting them from dear XDH.
I'm just not feeling competent today.
Friday, August 24, 2007
And then shit happens
Last night I went to bed obsessing about the state of the house. This morning I woke up obsessing about the state of the house. For any one who knows the site, we've been going through some rough times with delays on getting work done. Well, they got rougher.
I dared CC the owner of the company organizing the labor working on the site requesting removal of garbage left on the site for the last month, and for a time line of when the work would be completed. In reply, I received a tersely worded email from the owner.
There was much hearsay used in the letter, seeing that he hadn't set foot on the site since signing the contract last fall. There clearly was a lot of butt covering from the minions about what was and wasn't being done.
From a consumer's point of view, I stand by the emails I've sent to the project managers, including requests for updates, and budget. I asked for better communication so as to set expectations for me, and my family. I asked for this repeatedly.
The response from this owner was, well, disappointing. Opportunity lost to do some good PR. On the scale, it was an interesting letter, worthy of XDH in many respects.
I dared CC the owner of the company organizing the labor working on the site requesting removal of garbage left on the site for the last month, and for a time line of when the work would be completed. In reply, I received a tersely worded email from the owner.
There was much hearsay used in the letter, seeing that he hadn't set foot on the site since signing the contract last fall. There clearly was a lot of butt covering from the minions about what was and wasn't being done.
From a consumer's point of view, I stand by the emails I've sent to the project managers, including requests for updates, and budget. I asked for better communication so as to set expectations for me, and my family. I asked for this repeatedly.
The response from this owner was, well, disappointing. Opportunity lost to do some good PR. On the scale, it was an interesting letter, worthy of XDH in many respects.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Dora scares the bejezzers out of me
Dora, of Explorer fame scares the bejezzers out of me.
It really all started almost two years ago when DH and I went on a road trip with CU-3, the parental units to the States. We stopped in at a Walgreens, or some such drugstore where they sell oh so much more. I saw DH sneaking around and then out the door with a package that he refused to share the contents of. Thinking romantic thoughts, I thought he'd bought ME something nice.
Out in the parking lot, with CU-3 firmly ensconced in the car seat, he shows me a disembodied head of Dora (the rest remaining in the bag). He thought it would be cute as CU-3 so much liked Dora. I berated him telling him it was a large doll (larger then CU-3), then about the price, then about the fear factor. This was no Chucky doll to be sure, but it would eventually be used to strike fear into the unsuspecting.
Since Dora moved in, she's been used to pad out the bed (to make it look like some one was in bed, but really wasn't), pop-up in unusual places, and basically lie around to be found by a passer-by. The immediate reaction to some of these "surprises" is, seeing that CU-3's body attributes are some what like Dora, that she's been hurt or worse ...
Thus, this post. I found Dora hanging out at the bottom of the stairs. Yikes! followed by panic.
Dora, you've got to go.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
It's Tuesday
And yesterday marked a banner day for me. I read a book. Actually, I finished a book that I borrowed from the library no more then three times. I can thank/blame my former neighbor for the idea of completing the book. She said that the first thing she wanted to do was to start reading again (putting the house up for sale and moving lock, stock and barrel was a grueling task).
The book title I finished? Mommies who Drink. Apropo I would say.
The book title I finished? Mommies who Drink. Apropo I would say.
Monday, August 20, 2007
This, that, and the other thing
Never has so much of so little occurred in such an expanse of time.
Firstly, I'm feeling under-motivated not having connected with Perpetual Chocoholic this month. I mean I'm really suffering from withdrawal here.
Secondly, having just completed three weeks of vacation with all four CUs, I'm glad for the return to the regular schedule. CU-1 has been moving into pre-teenness with great relish and is driving me around the bend and then taking a left-turn at Alberquere. But that's his job.
Here on the home front, things have been moving ever so slowly. When we got back, the contractors still hadn't finished the job they set out to do oh way so back in January. That was a disappointment. DH and I set aside our feelings and pressed on with other immediate tasks.
Shelves went up, closet organizers organized closets, garbage (more then our city restricted three bags) went to the curb. The house is starting to look sharp. Now, it's those last ten pounds that have to be addressed. CU-4's baptism and open house Saturday is the train light at the end of the tunnel. Whoo whoo! Can you hear it coming? DH's recent bout of fluishness didn't help with the progress, though he was pretty good attending to the babes. And my burning the midnight oil has helped lots, though, when I have to wake for the four o'clock feed and do a side tangent to the bathroom only to come back to DH scowling at me as he thinks I abandoned the baby to howling makes for a cranky maman (and, regrettably children's programming only runs in 30 minute increments so just as I'm getting a really good nap in, I'm awakened with the programming announcements of CU-3).
Gotta run, my howler monkey is going off again. CU-4 doesn't like it when I'm out of site for more then his memory can keep.
Firstly, I'm feeling under-motivated not having connected with Perpetual Chocoholic this month. I mean I'm really suffering from withdrawal here.
Secondly, having just completed three weeks of vacation with all four CUs, I'm glad for the return to the regular schedule. CU-1 has been moving into pre-teenness with great relish and is driving me around the bend and then taking a left-turn at Alberquere. But that's his job.
Here on the home front, things have been moving ever so slowly. When we got back, the contractors still hadn't finished the job they set out to do oh way so back in January. That was a disappointment. DH and I set aside our feelings and pressed on with other immediate tasks.
Shelves went up, closet organizers organized closets, garbage (more then our city restricted three bags) went to the curb. The house is starting to look sharp. Now, it's those last ten pounds that have to be addressed. CU-4's baptism and open house Saturday is the train light at the end of the tunnel. Whoo whoo! Can you hear it coming? DH's recent bout of fluishness didn't help with the progress, though he was pretty good attending to the babes. And my burning the midnight oil has helped lots, though, when I have to wake for the four o'clock feed and do a side tangent to the bathroom only to come back to DH scowling at me as he thinks I abandoned the baby to howling makes for a cranky maman (and, regrettably children's programming only runs in 30 minute increments so just as I'm getting a really good nap in, I'm awakened with the programming announcements of CU-3).
Gotta run, my howler monkey is going off again. CU-4 doesn't like it when I'm out of site for more then his memory can keep.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
What can I say
It's a wild day here at the ranch. The baby CU-s are fighting over toys, the pre-teen CU-s are provoking the babies with the toys, there's a carpenter destroying the newly built bathroom because it was put in sub-par, our neighbors officially move out today, it's Wednesday so it's cleaning day. And to add insult to injury, Perpetual Chocoholic rode by and I missed her! Wah wah wah.
The va-ca-tion (how I was taught how to spell vacation) was EX-CE-LLENT!
I actually only thought of the fur that was flying at the home site a couple of times. Double-excellent for me. Mind you I came back to havoc and chaos of stuff that is still not done, or is done so poorly that it's deemed unacceptable (for example, a sewer stack is duct-taped off ...).
I've got try and figure out what to do today. Library, stationary store, visit to the Guide house? All of those things need to be done, as well as care and feeding of the birds, cats, hamster and kids. I'm pretty glad that I'm not working right now, though I'll get to do this all over again next year too!
The va-ca-tion (how I was taught how to spell vacation) was EX-CE-LLENT!
I actually only thought of the fur that was flying at the home site a couple of times. Double-excellent for me. Mind you I came back to havoc and chaos of stuff that is still not done, or is done so poorly that it's deemed unacceptable (for example, a sewer stack is duct-taped off ...).I've got try and figure out what to do today. Library, stationary store, visit to the Guide house? All of those things need to be done, as well as care and feeding of the birds, cats, hamster and kids. I'm pretty glad that I'm not working right now, though I'll get to do this all over again next year too!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
We're back
Catching up on stuff. (Yard werk primarily - more on that in another post). Meanwhile, worth viewing: PostSecret Mini-film.
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