I have a blessed DH. He's a great man.
He took me up on my suggestion and called the contacts for Guides (though, in his usual non-communicative fashion didn't tell me he did and didn't tell me the results)!
Lucky for us/me, Guides starts on Monday. Winter camping is in two weeks. WEEEEEEE.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Two hours later
Two hours later and things have a bit better perspective.
How could I have raised a semi-organized child? Me? Of all people, me?!
After re-awakening to the sounds of the garbage truck racing by, I got up to attend to business (chasing the truck with our modest week's worth of Christmas detritus. I'm happy to say our recycling pile is still much larger then our garbage pile, though the three composters are full to their frozen brims and our community won't start the green box until 2009.)
While hanging up my coat and putting away my mitts in my locker, I got a brilliant thought - to rifle through CU-2's locker. Maybe, just maybe her Guiding materials would be there and there'd be a clue as to who her current Guide leaders are.
Hallelujah! There's the paperwork with ALL the contact names!
Now the thing is to wait long enough before playing the telephone game. Not everyone is working a 1/2 day today, and some actually be sleeping in in order to prepare for the festivities tonight!
How could I have raised a semi-organized child? Me? Of all people, me?!
After re-awakening to the sounds of the garbage truck racing by, I got up to attend to business (chasing the truck with our modest week's worth of Christmas detritus. I'm happy to say our recycling pile is still much larger then our garbage pile, though the three composters are full to their frozen brims and our community won't start the green box until 2009.)
While hanging up my coat and putting away my mitts in my locker, I got a brilliant thought - to rifle through CU-2's locker. Maybe, just maybe her Guiding materials would be there and there'd be a clue as to who her current Guide leaders are.
Hallelujah! There's the paperwork with ALL the contact names!
Now the thing is to wait long enough before playing the telephone game. Not everyone is working a 1/2 day today, and some actually be sleeping in in order to prepare for the festivities tonight!
Bad parent
Well, at 6:30 in the morning, that's what I feel like. I woke up, hearing the rumblings of CU-4, thinking that maybe he needed something (false alarm), and then, for some reason (possibly because CU-2 will be home in about eight hours after almost two weeks away) started to thinking about Girl Guides.
Now that seems to be a big leap, especially seeing that she's not had the opportunity to attend that many Guide meetings this year (the last one we thought she had didn't happen).
So, now I'm up up UP! in a panic, in a tizzy, trying to figure out if I've got her Guide group leader's contact information (it's 6:30 in the freaking a.m. and I went to bed after two a.m., and I don't have it), trying to figure out if she might have a winter camping session that I don't know about. All at six-freaking thirty a.m. on New Year's eve. Like I'm going to be able to accomplish a whole hell of a lot. (I have managed to get some email issues straightened out though, and drop an email note to the former Guide leader, who, I'm sure I will be calling later this morning to try and make contact because of my extreme panic about CU-2 missing an event). Oh, the joys of being a parent ... the joys of parental guilt.
What are the chances of me being able to go back to sleep for a few more zzzzzs before the rest of the crew awaken? (It IS New Years eve after all, AND CU-1 and 2 ARE coming home ...).
Sigh.
Now that seems to be a big leap, especially seeing that she's not had the opportunity to attend that many Guide meetings this year (the last one we thought she had didn't happen).
So, now I'm up up UP! in a panic, in a tizzy, trying to figure out if I've got her Guide group leader's contact information (it's 6:30 in the freaking a.m. and I went to bed after two a.m., and I don't have it), trying to figure out if she might have a winter camping session that I don't know about. All at six-freaking thirty a.m. on New Year's eve. Like I'm going to be able to accomplish a whole hell of a lot. (I have managed to get some email issues straightened out though, and drop an email note to the former Guide leader, who, I'm sure I will be calling later this morning to try and make contact because of my extreme panic about CU-2 missing an event). Oh, the joys of being a parent ... the joys of parental guilt.
What are the chances of me being able to go back to sleep for a few more zzzzzs before the rest of the crew awaken? (It IS New Years eve after all, AND CU-1 and 2 ARE coming home ...).
Sigh.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
End of year
Today is Thursday.
I think.
It's been such a long time since I've looked at a calendar. Really looked at it, do you know what I mean? Most of you probably do as you live a regular life with appointments, and interesting things to do, and places to go, and coffee to drink with people that talk in full sentences.
I'm now finishing my year off in exile (aka maternity leave). It's been an interesting experience. I've got another 24 ish days to go before my first day back at work. It's going to be odd looking at files and projects that are a year old. I don't think there will be that much catching up to do, as far as I can tell, 'cause things just don't move that fast in government.
It's been an interesting year. Looking at past blog entries has helped jog the old mind. Birth, construction, reunions, heart ache, and good visits. 2007 is ending on a mixed note with relations in hospitals (some to be released in better health, others to move on to the last phase of dying), and news of impending births.
Hope. I think 2008 is a year about hope.
I think.
It's been such a long time since I've looked at a calendar. Really looked at it, do you know what I mean? Most of you probably do as you live a regular life with appointments, and interesting things to do, and places to go, and coffee to drink with people that talk in full sentences.
I'm now finishing my year off in exile (aka maternity leave). It's been an interesting experience. I've got another 24 ish days to go before my first day back at work. It's going to be odd looking at files and projects that are a year old. I don't think there will be that much catching up to do, as far as I can tell, 'cause things just don't move that fast in government.
It's been an interesting year. Looking at past blog entries has helped jog the old mind. Birth, construction, reunions, heart ache, and good visits. 2007 is ending on a mixed note with relations in hospitals (some to be released in better health, others to move on to the last phase of dying), and news of impending births.
Hope. I think 2008 is a year about hope.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Let it snow
We're supposed to be getting some more fresh snow this week. Since our last storm we've had a bout of freezing rain, but before that set in, the CUs and I made up a batch of a recipe I haven't tried since my early childhood.
Snow Ice Cream
2 C milk
2 eggs
1 1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp vanilla
Whip ingredients with eater. Add fresh fallen snow (unpacked) and stir until no more can be added. Eat or freeze. May also add "Nestle's Quick" to make chocolate version.
Tastes pretty good.
Snow Ice Cream
2 C milk
2 eggs
1 1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp vanilla
Whip ingredients with eater. Add fresh fallen snow (unpacked) and stir until no more can be added. Eat or freeze. May also add "Nestle's Quick" to make chocolate version.
Tastes pretty good.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas to all!
Christmas morning in our house has been eventful. This picture, taken by the talented CU-3, shows two of the many gifts I received. Around my neck are the "Prairie Pearls" from my dear FIL. Hand collected, hand crafted! I'll be wearing these to work regularly!!
Also, a dream come true, a Canon Digital Rebel XTi!
This doesn't make the Nikon obsolete. It will now become my p
ocket book camera that I carry around most of the time, unless I plan to go out to an event to take pictures.
It also means I can take the CUs out with me and maybe I can share my passion!
Here's CU-3 (who took the picture of me up above).
Also, a dream come true, a Canon Digital Rebel XTi!This doesn't make the Nikon obsolete. It will now become my p
ocket book camera that I carry around most of the time, unless I plan to go out to an event to take pictures.It also means I can take the CUs out with me and maybe I can share my passion!
Here's CU-3 (who took the picture of me up above).
Saturday, December 22, 2007
A Christmas inspired meme
Found on Things by Mike:
1. Wrapping or gift bags?
Wrapping. Though I'll double-up and use gift bags to hold a bunch of small things, plus baking.
2. Real or artificial tree?
I prefer real. DH has decided that with at least another 20 years of trees for the kids he's decided it would be more convenient to get a pop-up artificial tree. Uh huh. (I miss the smell, the water stains and the shedding of a real tree!)
3. When do you put up the tree?
Depends on what weekend all the children are home, though only DH decorates the tree, so I'm not sure why we wait. But, now it's tradition.
4. When do you take the tree down?
Around January 6th.
5. Do you like egg nog?
I can take it or leave it. I'd like to find a lower calorie alternative though.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
The one that's most memorable was a wagon I used to on my newspaper route.
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Several.
8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Slippers. They didn't fit. I felt badly about that. And then, there was the really ugly watch.
I like receiving either or. Only recently have I taken to mailing some out. Usually they become New Years cards ;-)
10. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.
11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
The day after Christmas, for the next year. Sometimes even before the current Christmas, if the specials are really good, and the Christmas "away" boxes have been sent.
12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
The venison jerky that comes but once a year from my in-laws.
13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
I prefer white, but now we've got the artificial tree, it'll be permanently colored, as least until the tree dies.
14. Favorite Christmas song(s)?
Any that I can remember the words to. I like listening to them more then singing them.
15. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay home.
16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Hell no. Well, maybe if I tried. I just don't want to. >:)
17. Angel on the tree top or a star?
1984 mental health angel from Brenda in New Brunswick. (There's a short, but special story that goes with that one! Some day I might recount it here.)
18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
I prefer Christmas Eve, 'cause Pere Noel usually comes when we're at evening mass. DH prefers Christmas Day. Sometimes we compromise and do the socks the night before, if there's been a visit.
19. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Commercialism.
20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color?
Only tradition is to make new paper chains for the tree. So, no.
21. What do you leave for Santa?
Carrots for the reindeer. A cookie, and a bit of milk, and maybe a note.
22. Least favorite holiday song?
I'm sure I have at least one. I just can't recall. (And don't ask me to be your partner when playing Humzinger either!)
23. Favorite ornament?
Anything the kids have made.
24. Family tradition?
Staying home.
25. Ever been to Midnight Mass or late-night Christmas Eve services?
Yes. I go to the evening masses usually because one or the other kids is in the presentation. I just can't stand the cologne and perfume.
Vacation for all
The older CUs are on their way to the "far west" (as CU-1 calls it). They'll be back in the region in a week. Back home in another two days after that, when we'll have a second Christmas. Perhaps we'll just make it into a big Welcome Home/New Years party!
Meanwhile, we have Grandma C here. What a blessing. We keep telling her we're going to try to make many excuses for her to stay. She's fun, and funny and a joy to be around (though WE might be driving her crazy! She doesn't complain.)
She's slipped into the crazy routines of the house. She's been used as a trampoline by CU-4. She's played beauty parlor with CU-3. The cats have crawled on and around her. She's found Dora (of Explorer fame) in her bed, plus a mouse ... (Sourisette, CU-1's plush pet), and occasionally a grand baby. Again, no complaints. Well, with the exception that Dora is a bed hog. ;-)
She's cooked her famous sausage rolls (mmm mmm good), and helped me catch up on the laundry, and Christmas baking. She's taught me how to make marshmellows! MARSHMELLOWS! HOMEMADE! (AND OMG they're GOOD!)
We've stayed up most nights until well after midnight (with the exception of last night. We were all in bed by 10, 'cause CU-4 has been very generous and shared his cold with us all).
Now DH is home on shut down until New Years. We'll sit around in our pjs until some one decides its time to get dressed, when we'll all follow suit.
Our days will slide one into the other. Low stress (biggest stress will be fighting over who gets to cook dinner that night). Christmas dinner is planned, so is New Years. Again. Low-to-no stressed. In it goes, and we go back to chatting, visiting, playing cards.
It's nice when we have family members that like one another.
My thoughts go out to all of you who are not with your families this Christmas - either by choice or by circumstances. May you find what you are looking for - particular peace in your life, and health in your mind and body.
Meanwhile, we have Grandma C here. What a blessing. We keep telling her we're going to try to make many excuses for her to stay. She's fun, and funny and a joy to be around (though WE might be driving her crazy! She doesn't complain.)
She's slipped into the crazy routines of the house. She's been used as a trampoline by CU-4. She's played beauty parlor with CU-3. The cats have crawled on and around her. She's found Dora (of Explorer fame) in her bed, plus a mouse ... (Sourisette, CU-1's plush pet), and occasionally a grand baby. Again, no complaints. Well, with the exception that Dora is a bed hog. ;-)
She's cooked her famous sausage rolls (mmm mmm good), and helped me catch up on the laundry, and Christmas baking. She's taught me how to make marshmellows! MARSHMELLOWS! HOMEMADE! (AND OMG they're GOOD!)
We've stayed up most nights until well after midnight (with the exception of last night. We were all in bed by 10, 'cause CU-4 has been very generous and shared his cold with us all).
Now DH is home on shut down until New Years. We'll sit around in our pjs until some one decides its time to get dressed, when we'll all follow suit.
Our days will slide one into the other. Low stress (biggest stress will be fighting over who gets to cook dinner that night). Christmas dinner is planned, so is New Years. Again. Low-to-no stressed. In it goes, and we go back to chatting, visiting, playing cards.
It's nice when we have family members that like one another.
My thoughts go out to all of you who are not with your families this Christmas - either by choice or by circumstances. May you find what you are looking for - particular peace in your life, and health in your mind and body.
Monday, December 17, 2007
One week later
Though the fall out continues with Christmasgate, I've had many, many, many, many chats with my MIL. They've helped A LOT.
The chats, coupled with 37 cm of snow over the weekend have helped me work a lot of things out of my system.
Man, do I miss winters like this. I'm glad to see one back. It brings back many memories, like the one where I wanted to trap the mail man because he ALWAYS cut across the lawn, and even at that young, precocious age, I had a strong sense of mine and thine.
As the holidays roll soundly along (mostly without me!), I have no real illusions of what this season is about. I'm not into the heavy commercialism, or the "rip fest", or the over eating, or the ever so special "day of salads" (26 by last count) festival of my former life.
No, no. This year, as in previous years, we'll start of the seasonal celebrations with the nightly "screaming children" choral singing the every so effervescent "Idoughwannagotobed" followed by "I hungry" chorus.
The older kids will start the "Awmombutitsvacation sing along.
Eyes will roll. Parents will cave, and it will be merriment for all.
Actually, as of Friday, it will be subdued merriment for all as the old CUs head for Vegas with DXH and his other half. They'll be back for New Years when the Hallelujah chorus will be played.
The chats, coupled with 37 cm of snow over the weekend have helped me work a lot of things out of my system.
Man, do I miss winters like this. I'm glad to see one back. It brings back many memories, like the one where I wanted to trap the mail man because he ALWAYS cut across the lawn, and even at that young, precocious age, I had a strong sense of mine and thine.
As the holidays roll soundly along (mostly without me!), I have no real illusions of what this season is about. I'm not into the heavy commercialism, or the "rip fest", or the over eating, or the ever so special "day of salads" (26 by last count) festival of my former life.
No, no. This year, as in previous years, we'll start of the seasonal celebrations with the nightly "screaming children" choral singing the every so effervescent "Idoughwannagotobed" followed by "I hungry" chorus.
The older kids will start the "Awmombutitsvacation sing along.
Eyes will roll. Parents will cave, and it will be merriment for all.
Actually, as of Friday, it will be subdued merriment for all as the old CUs head for Vegas with DXH and his other half. They'll be back for New Years when the Hallelujah chorus will be played.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Christmasgate
Why do I have to be capable of knowing when something is up?
Why am I able to pick up on subtle visual clues when I don't need too?
Why am I particularly capable of stumbling across clues?
I'm not a detective. I'm usually a big picture kind of person, not detailed. I also wouldn't classify myself as the sharpest knife in the drawer either.
Lately, I'm able to guess what's going to happen in a story well before it ends. Same thing in the movies. And now in life. It's getting kind of boring and mostly annoying.
The episode with my DH is now spiraling out of control, as I reach out and talk to my friends and family. Once I present them with my suspicions, people just cave and imply that yes, they too have been hit up for a contribution.
DH has really blown it this time. I'm not the kind of person who needs a lot of things, and I'm certainly not the kind of person who needs them today.
Besides the hitting up my framily for this big ticket item, I'm catching DH in fundamental lies. If he was better covering, perhaps I wouldn't feel so bad. But, because he caves with the slightest touch, I am robbed of any joy that could come with the gift. Knowing about it two weeks in advance isn't a nice surprise. Knowing that framily were asked to contribute is embarrassing.
Framily, on behalf of me, I'm sorry that he did this. I really really am.
Why am I able to pick up on subtle visual clues when I don't need too?
Why am I particularly capable of stumbling across clues?
I'm not a detective. I'm usually a big picture kind of person, not detailed. I also wouldn't classify myself as the sharpest knife in the drawer either.
Lately, I'm able to guess what's going to happen in a story well before it ends. Same thing in the movies. And now in life. It's getting kind of boring and mostly annoying.
The episode with my DH is now spiraling out of control, as I reach out and talk to my friends and family. Once I present them with my suspicions, people just cave and imply that yes, they too have been hit up for a contribution.
DH has really blown it this time. I'm not the kind of person who needs a lot of things, and I'm certainly not the kind of person who needs them today.
Besides the hitting up my framily for this big ticket item, I'm catching DH in fundamental lies. If he was better covering, perhaps I wouldn't feel so bad. But, because he caves with the slightest touch, I am robbed of any joy that could come with the gift. Knowing about it two weeks in advance isn't a nice surprise. Knowing that framily were asked to contribute is embarrassing.
Framily, on behalf of me, I'm sorry that he did this. I really really am.
Ho ho ho! Who's coming to town?
GRANDMA of course!
Grandma from the West lands this afternoon to join the organized chaos of our home. We welcome her with many many open arms.
Grandma from the West lands this afternoon to join the organized chaos of our home. We welcome her with many many open arms.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
SUN
SUN is an acronym a friend came up for Shut Up Now. She draws a happy sun on her hand during work meetings on occasion, especially when she feels she's going to go too far with a comment. I've asked her if I could commandeer the image for myself on many occasion. Now, I've got to ask on behalf of my DH.
You see, I think I guessed my Christmas present. I think he flubbed up badly, said too much before investigating and just implied too much.
Now I'm angry. I like good surprises. This one would have been a doozy. Really, it would have, had he been able to carry it to term. Now, guessing all the quicky phone calls that have been coming in, I'm putting the whole equation together.
I've told him to call off the hounds, so to speak. Tell everyone who he has finagled into donating towards the cause to cool their jets.
It's horribly embarrassing, and the only way I know how to react is to try to stop it all.
Think I'm over reacting? It's a you had to be there conversation on the phone with him. He practically said "I'm getting you X, to make up for the stupid olives and the not-so-funny box of matches I got you."
My affections will not be bought.
You see, I think I guessed my Christmas present. I think he flubbed up badly, said too much before investigating and just implied too much.
Now I'm angry. I like good surprises. This one would have been a doozy. Really, it would have, had he been able to carry it to term. Now, guessing all the quicky phone calls that have been coming in, I'm putting the whole equation together.
I've told him to call off the hounds, so to speak. Tell everyone who he has finagled into donating towards the cause to cool their jets.
It's horribly embarrassing, and the only way I know how to react is to try to stop it all.
Think I'm over reacting? It's a you had to be there conversation on the phone with him. He practically said "I'm getting you X, to make up for the stupid olives and the not-so-funny box of matches I got you."
My affections will not be bought.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Oh wait a minute
So I saw DXH in the hallway as he was picking up our two CUs for the week. I was there for one of my CUs as I was packing the other one around on my back all day.
I blurted out a bit of pertinent information about the change of the skating program he agreed to register the children in (before reneging on CU-1s attendance). The verbal slap down came so smoothly. I don't miss those days.
The not so funny thing about all this is that I'd got a call from the coordinator about thirty minutes before asking me if CU-1 didn't want to be part of the program, or what happened. I explained the situation as best I could. The coordinator was kind and took CU-1s measurements over the telephone.
I had a quick, pithy talk with DH about the whole thing. DXH isn't going to take CU-1 to the program because CU-1 said he didn't want to go. This is the same kid who doesn't want to brush his teeth, or wear deodorant and frequently forgets to wear underwear. How dare we try to assert our responsibility as a parent! This is also the same DXH who didn't want CU-1 to wear glasses for fear of being laughed at but didn't give it a second thought to cut and die a child's hair ...
CU-1 will grow up having his feet held to the fire in one house and hate it and have the ability to complain and get away without having to be responsible for his own actions in another.
Just makes me want to pull my hair out because it's such a trial some weeks.
I blurted out a bit of pertinent information about the change of the skating program he agreed to register the children in (before reneging on CU-1s attendance). The verbal slap down came so smoothly. I don't miss those days.
The not so funny thing about all this is that I'd got a call from the coordinator about thirty minutes before asking me if CU-1 didn't want to be part of the program, or what happened. I explained the situation as best I could. The coordinator was kind and took CU-1s measurements over the telephone.
I had a quick, pithy talk with DH about the whole thing. DXH isn't going to take CU-1 to the program because CU-1 said he didn't want to go. This is the same kid who doesn't want to brush his teeth, or wear deodorant and frequently forgets to wear underwear. How dare we try to assert our responsibility as a parent! This is also the same DXH who didn't want CU-1 to wear glasses for fear of being laughed at but didn't give it a second thought to cut and die a child's hair ...
CU-1 will grow up having his feet held to the fire in one house and hate it and have the ability to complain and get away without having to be responsible for his own actions in another.
Just makes me want to pull my hair out because it's such a trial some weeks.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
D day is upon me
Today is D day for many parents in my region. I'm still not sure if all the school's policies are the same. At my kids' elementary, you are required to present yourself to get a copy of your children's report card. They do this because for some parents, it's the only time they'll see them.
For me, it's a very emotional day. Coming up against a system that I do not have found memories of; coming up against a person from whom I felt abused me emotionally and psychologically; feeling out numbers and then, having my children, whom I love, be critiqued is rough.
This morning, while talking to my day care provider, I broke down. I'd been pretty tough to this point, able to put on a brave face. I'm just loosing it now.
Talk to a guy, they'd say "Tut tut. Stiff upper lip and all that." I'm trying.
Logically I know I'm not responsible for what my children put down (or don't put down) on a test paper. I put in my time with each. I help them prepare their school work when they need direction. It still doesn't help me with feeling like I'm walking into a very nasty situation in a couple of hours.
Then again, I could be wrong.
***
UPDATE
So I panicked for a lot of nothing. CU-1 got a lovely report card, though the grades are on a heavy curve.
I still got it between the eyes for allowing CU-1 to pack too many books to school. WHAT? I told the teacher (with DXH and DXH's squeeze in tow) that it's like a police state now - we're patting him down every morning and that I don't know how he's getting the books out the door.
I also was told that allowing this kid to take out and read 40+ books a week was too much and that he wouldn't have space in his head to keep his studies present. Um well, as my DH pointed out: 1. What's he reading? (mostly comic books, though the X wants him to read more grown up books ... really what's with that? They guy certainly doesn't model it and only reads magazines with pictures! 2. How's he reading? for pleasure or for comprehension. Those are two different styles of reading.)
With CU-2 - there was a beautiful line from the teacher: "which one of you is the father". I relish that comment and appreciate her straightforwardness on it. DXH's complaint with CU-2s report card? Shouldn't she be getting all As? Well, let me see, she's doing splendidly in her English language course work (despite your disinterest in her learning English) and her other big problem is slowing down to read the question, which I told you. Big deal. She's a relatively happy, well adjusted, likeable girl. I say leave her alone on the marks (she knows the material, on tests, it came out sideways) and support her life outside the school.
Oh, that's right, pigs may have to sprout wings for you to consider that. Oh well.
Anyway, part one of what I perceived as December's major train wreck has come and gone. Next week we have another face-to-face meeting where they'll have another crack at me. Once that's done, we don't have to have face-to-face contact for another term and I won't have to revisit my ghosts until then. Yeha and Happy New Year.
For me, it's a very emotional day. Coming up against a system that I do not have found memories of; coming up against a person from whom I felt abused me emotionally and psychologically; feeling out numbers and then, having my children, whom I love, be critiqued is rough.
This morning, while talking to my day care provider, I broke down. I'd been pretty tough to this point, able to put on a brave face. I'm just loosing it now.
Talk to a guy, they'd say "Tut tut. Stiff upper lip and all that." I'm trying.
Logically I know I'm not responsible for what my children put down (or don't put down) on a test paper. I put in my time with each. I help them prepare their school work when they need direction. It still doesn't help me with feeling like I'm walking into a very nasty situation in a couple of hours.
Then again, I could be wrong.
***
UPDATE
So I panicked for a lot of nothing. CU-1 got a lovely report card, though the grades are on a heavy curve.
I still got it between the eyes for allowing CU-1 to pack too many books to school. WHAT? I told the teacher (with DXH and DXH's squeeze in tow) that it's like a police state now - we're patting him down every morning and that I don't know how he's getting the books out the door.
I also was told that allowing this kid to take out and read 40+ books a week was too much and that he wouldn't have space in his head to keep his studies present. Um well, as my DH pointed out: 1. What's he reading? (mostly comic books, though the X wants him to read more grown up books ... really what's with that? They guy certainly doesn't model it and only reads magazines with pictures! 2. How's he reading? for pleasure or for comprehension. Those are two different styles of reading.)
With CU-2 - there was a beautiful line from the teacher: "which one of you is the father". I relish that comment and appreciate her straightforwardness on it. DXH's complaint with CU-2s report card? Shouldn't she be getting all As? Well, let me see, she's doing splendidly in her English language course work (despite your disinterest in her learning English) and her other big problem is slowing down to read the question, which I told you. Big deal. She's a relatively happy, well adjusted, likeable girl. I say leave her alone on the marks (she knows the material, on tests, it came out sideways) and support her life outside the school.
Oh, that's right, pigs may have to sprout wings for you to consider that. Oh well.
Anyway, part one of what I perceived as December's major train wreck has come and gone. Next week we have another face-to-face meeting where they'll have another crack at me. Once that's done, we don't have to have face-to-face contact for another term and I won't have to revisit my ghosts until then. Yeha and Happy New Year.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Serendipity too
While trying to write this post update, I had to send the DH to break it up between "Perve" the cat and child-unit 1's snow pants. "Get a room" and "Sweeeeet luuuuuuv" has a whole new meaning in this house. Eww.
Anyway, the point of this late night post was to talk about a kind and gentle bit of serendipity that occurred this evening while out at the ballet (not The Winnipeg Ballet level - this was from the farm team/school for ballerinas). So that was what took me and the two older CUs out this evening.
During intermission, I do what many women do. Stand in line. Eventually I made it to the loo, hung up my hand bag on the back of the door, and parked. When I looked up, I saw the most wonderful piece of graffiti:
How's that for a beautiful message. As far as graffiti goes, I think that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Anyway, the point of this late night post was to talk about a kind and gentle bit of serendipity that occurred this evening while out at the ballet (not The Winnipeg Ballet level - this was from the farm team/school for ballerinas). So that was what took me and the two older CUs out this evening.
During intermission, I do what many women do. Stand in line. Eventually I made it to the loo, hung up my hand bag on the back of the door, and parked. When I looked up, I saw the most wonderful piece of graffiti:
How's that for a beautiful message. As far as graffiti goes, I think that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Serendipity
I knew the word meant something good, or, at least in my experience, it has been. So, I pulled out my handy pocket dictionary and found this:serendipity
n : pure luck in discovering things you were not looking for
(see photo)
Five "official" years together. Life has been relatively calm. Good. Fun.
Thank you.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Friday's love list
Meg has asked, and she will receive:
Song you love: Well, right now, it's all things Christmas.
Food you love: Queen Anne's chocolate covered cherries (very cheap, very sugary, talk about a head rush)
Thing you love to look at: everything through the lens of my camera. It helps me find the beauty in the everyday.
Sound you love: laughter, particularly children's laughter, especially when you can't see them (like they're in a back yard). There's something special about that.
Thing you love to laugh at: Any body's jokes and Just for Laughs specials.
Gadget you love: My KitchenAid mixer the Mothership bought me when I was single again.
Person you love: Sparky
Software you love: That which runs my digital camera
Word you love: Love. When I worked in a library back in New Brunswick, oh so many years ago, there was a patron by the name of Kevin Love. I thought "wouldn't it be great to be known as Mrs. Love?"
Thing you love on the internet: other people's blogs
Place you love to go on vacation: Wainwright, Alberta, Greece, Nova Scotia, maybe PEI too
Sensation you love: Touch
Animal you love: Voles.
Book you love: Betty Crocker Cookbook circa 1954
Emotion you love: Happiness
Occasion you love: my children coming home
Quality you love in people: compassion, honesty, politeness, trustworthiness
Thing you most love to shop for: paper
And finally…
What you love about today: I got to see Shelagh Rogers on Sounds Like Canada and child-unit 4 got a shout out on national radio!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Grey mornings, grey days
It's snowing outside. Soft fluffy flakes. I love days like this. From my place in our study/computer room, if I lean back, I can see out the kitchen window watching the lazy decent of these delicious flakes. I'm hoping for big storms this year. Ones that close schools, block satellite reception, force people home.I have such a strong memory of my Mom and me going out one evening, during a white-out type snow storm, walking to our local book store (who was still open!) to pick up a book that'd come in for her. I remember the car that fish-tailed behind us, honky in surprise, at the two figures walking in the middle of the road because the sidewalks hadn't been cleared yet.
I can't say that stores are going to stay open late for me and my daughters to ever do that again (that was the benefit of living in a smaller community). I'd like the opportunity to see if one would though, even if it's just Seven-Eleven.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Still working on stupid
Jonathan posted the challenge word last Friday. Stupidity. Good gawd, I think I could write a novel on the subject, but then most people could. Mine would be full of self-deprecation, but then most people's would too.
So, I'm just going to touch on a point that Steph commented about in her entry for BlogFriday: "Love makes you stupid." Eh-men (sic) to that!
When I married my life-spark, I got stupid, and it's a good thing. My stupidity has to do with learning to let go and trust again. I learned that I didn't have to control every spec of dust that was going to fall on the shelf. I didn't have to control the child-units' every move. I didn't have to be completely responsible for household management. I could share the load.
I got stupid and I love it.
I stopped needing to know how to adjust the VCR timer every time the thing got reset. I stopped needing to know how to sort out all the laundry into proper piles so that everything is not an Orwellian shade of grey. I stopped and let the care and affection of a really nice guy come in and take the place of a whole lot of hurt.
My stupidity means I'm healing.
I like that.
Thanks Jonathan for helping me remember that stupidity can be a good thing.
So, I'm just going to touch on a point that Steph commented about in her entry for BlogFriday: "Love makes you stupid." Eh-men (sic) to that!
When I married my life-spark, I got stupid, and it's a good thing. My stupidity has to do with learning to let go and trust again. I learned that I didn't have to control every spec of dust that was going to fall on the shelf. I didn't have to control the child-units' every move. I didn't have to be completely responsible for household management. I could share the load.
I got stupid and I love it.
I stopped needing to know how to adjust the VCR timer every time the thing got reset. I stopped needing to know how to sort out all the laundry into proper piles so that everything is not an Orwellian shade of grey. I stopped and let the care and affection of a really nice guy come in and take the place of a whole lot of hurt.
My stupidity means I'm healing.
I like that.
Thanks Jonathan for helping me remember that stupidity can be a good thing.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Where has this weekend gone?
Just finished doing my rounds of other people's blogs, catching up with their lives. Wish I could catch up with mine. Even though I've been off for the last 10 months being the primary care giver to CU-4, I feel like I'm still in the rhythm of my regular work week. Weekends come and there's just a different pace.
Saturday's are the usual run about to get at least one child to his/her event (this week was child-lite week, so there was just the one CU to run), though we did do a collective viewing of all the CUs, merely by chance. CU-1 was at his art class (hell has frozen over! and DXH takes him to this event at least), where I dropped off some Ginger Sparkler cookies that I said I'd make. CU-2 was a the drug store with DXH, where I was doing a drug run for our sickly CU-4.
It's been a rough week for him. Flu shot seems to have some back-kick to it as he's got heavy flu-like symptoms. However, I'm not sure that he's got the flu. He's also got some big chompers coming down. Oh, and let's not forget about the bout of suspected Pink Eye we were treating him for. On top of that, there seemed to be a scheduled growth spurt that couldn't be put off. Poor guy.
Around him, DH has been working on putting house bits back together. I've been working at hauling out stuff from the basement. Having finally realized that we will probably have a winter this year, I've changed the direction of my garden puttering to decorating for the winter season. I'm known, in my neighborhood, as being the wack-job who puts up a lot of lights and different decorations for the change of seasons.
Thankfully, I'm not alone.
There's a fellow who keeps an immaculate yard just across from the English-speaking church we go to byweekly. He though does seasonal changes that are a bit over the top. But nothing is on the ground - it's all higher up, around his fence and windows.
There's a lady down our street who also inspires me. Her genre is with dolls and stuffed animals.
I was out last Saturday, before the snow fell, trying to get some lights up. This year we have a Fesitivus pole for DH, a lighted landing spot for Pere Noel, closer to the house this year, in addition to the polar bear, plastic candles and lanterns, plus the lights, of course.
Yesterday, I put up the oversized candy canes in our trees and replanted the candles that keep blowing down. I went out with the Mothership who's going through a late-life house-fashion crisis (wants to modernize her condo a bit, much to the chagrin of Dad who likes the furniture he's had for the last 25 years. Ugh.) So we rolled out late yesterday afternoon heading towards the likes of Sofa World (which felt more like Sofa Neighborhood), and Rona to look at light fixtures and door knobs. (Her doorknobs are dowdy too.)
Rona was my downfall. They were having an LED light sale. I couldn't help myself ... At least I
didn't buy another electrical source stump ('cause I know we have another one some where in the house! I just have to find it.)
So, now it's Sunday afternoon. I'm writing this, listening to The Vinyl Café, thinking about how to string the next 300 feet of lights ...
* * *
This is what one side of the house looked like at dusk. It's still not done. I need one more extension cord I think, and I've moved some things around (illuminated candy canes because they were behaving badly) already. I'd like to move the set of lights over in the tree (left hand bent light section), but I need CU-1 to be home for that.
Saturday's are the usual run about to get at least one child to his/her event (this week was child-lite week, so there was just the one CU to run), though we did do a collective viewing of all the CUs, merely by chance. CU-1 was at his art class (hell has frozen over! and DXH takes him to this event at least), where I dropped off some Ginger Sparkler cookies that I said I'd make. CU-2 was a the drug store with DXH, where I was doing a drug run for our sickly CU-4.
It's been a rough week for him. Flu shot seems to have some back-kick to it as he's got heavy flu-like symptoms. However, I'm not sure that he's got the flu. He's also got some big chompers coming down. Oh, and let's not forget about the bout of suspected Pink Eye we were treating him for. On top of that, there seemed to be a scheduled growth spurt that couldn't be put off. Poor guy.Around him, DH has been working on putting house bits back together. I've been working at hauling out stuff from the basement. Having finally realized that we will probably have a winter this year, I've changed the direction of my garden puttering to decorating for the winter season. I'm known, in my neighborhood, as being the wack-job who puts up a lot of lights and different decorations for the change of seasons.
Thankfully, I'm not alone.
There's a fellow who keeps an immaculate yard just across from the English-speaking church we go to byweekly. He though does seasonal changes that are a bit over the top. But nothing is on the ground - it's all higher up, around his fence and windows.There's a lady down our street who also inspires me. Her genre is with dolls and stuffed animals.
I was out last Saturday, before the snow fell, trying to get some lights up. This year we have a Fesitivus pole for DH, a lighted landing spot for Pere Noel, closer to the house this year, in addition to the polar bear, plastic candles and lanterns, plus the lights, of course.
Yesterday, I put up the oversized candy canes in our trees and replanted the candles that keep blowing down. I went out with the Mothership who's going through a late-life house-fashion crisis (wants to modernize her condo a bit, much to the chagrin of Dad who likes the furniture he's had for the last 25 years. Ugh.) So we rolled out late yesterday afternoon heading towards the likes of Sofa World (which felt more like Sofa Neighborhood), and Rona to look at light fixtures and door knobs. (Her doorknobs are dowdy too.)
Rona was my downfall. They were having an LED light sale. I couldn't help myself ... At least I
didn't buy another electrical source stump ('cause I know we have another one some where in the house! I just have to find it.)So, now it's Sunday afternoon. I'm writing this, listening to The Vinyl Café, thinking about how to string the next 300 feet of lights ...
* * *
This is what one side of the house looked like at dusk. It's still not done. I need one more extension cord I think, and I've moved some things around (illuminated candy canes because they were behaving badly) already. I'd like to move the set of lights over in the tree (left hand bent light section), but I need CU-1 to be home for that.
Friday, November 23, 2007
BlogFriday post: The XXX version
So I was out at the local tavern with all CUs in tow having a plate of wings with a good neighbor/friend and his posse. Having just had a birthday, and having received a glorious jar of olives for my birthday, I wanted to get another man's perspective on gift giving.
The conversation took a few twists and turns, and finally, I asked the all important question - what's your best birthday present ever? My supper companion, without missing a beat says "sex".
Um, Ok. After checking the kids' animated faces, I realized they were well engaged in their own distracting conversations.
My DH, who'd joined us by that time, became engaged in the conversation. So, here I was, stuck between two guys, talking about their favorite past-time, after hockey and basketball, of course.
I let them prattle on while I thought of my own efforts to support martial bliss. Four children can take the life-blood out of a couple. The efforts I/we (DH and I) spend trying to break up fights, find lost items (that should have been put away in the CUs locker or storage box in the first place!), hound for incomplete homework, plus trying to take care of the other detritus around running the house is work. By the time 11 o'clock rolls around, I'm tired. I'm usually sick too. The most I can do is sidle up next to my life-spark and try to get HIM warm (he's got notoriously cold feet) while trying to squeeze out a few minutes of restful sleep. Thus, extra fun just doesn't come into play.
But, now I prattle - onto the good stuff. I've been reading a book called Sex lives of wives : reigniting the passion by Holly H. Hollenbeck. Actually skimming because unless something has a lot of pictures these days, I don't have the brain cells to absorb much. (By the way, this book doesn't have pictures.)
Having made it through a couple of chapters, I finally get to a part that actually describes what overworked/over scheduled women can do to reignite the passion in their mates. The "Passion Seekers", a club of women that met to discuss passion and on whose experiences and discussions the book is based, came up with an idea: treat your mate's privates like you do you pet. Ok. I'm willing to try.
Now, we've got three cats and a hamster. The cats usually look after the care of the hamster, so you see where things go in this house.
If I treat DH's privates like I do our cats, this is what it would sound like:
"Quit nagging me!"
"No, you can't have more treats!"
"Really. You've had enough. Now go away."
There's also the strong possibility that DH would find himself on the other side of the bedroom door because his purring is too loud.
Maybe I should read into the next chapter ...
The conversation took a few twists and turns, and finally, I asked the all important question - what's your best birthday present ever? My supper companion, without missing a beat says "sex".
Um, Ok. After checking the kids' animated faces, I realized they were well engaged in their own distracting conversations.
My DH, who'd joined us by that time, became engaged in the conversation. So, here I was, stuck between two guys, talking about their favorite past-time, after hockey and basketball, of course.
I let them prattle on while I thought of my own efforts to support martial bliss. Four children can take the life-blood out of a couple. The efforts I/we (DH and I) spend trying to break up fights, find lost items (that should have been put away in the CUs locker or storage box in the first place!), hound for incomplete homework, plus trying to take care of the other detritus around running the house is work. By the time 11 o'clock rolls around, I'm tired. I'm usually sick too. The most I can do is sidle up next to my life-spark and try to get HIM warm (he's got notoriously cold feet) while trying to squeeze out a few minutes of restful sleep. Thus, extra fun just doesn't come into play.
But, now I prattle - onto the good stuff. I've been reading a book called Sex lives of wives : reigniting the passion by Holly H. Hollenbeck. Actually skimming because unless something has a lot of pictures these days, I don't have the brain cells to absorb much. (By the way, this book doesn't have pictures.)
Having made it through a couple of chapters, I finally get to a part that actually describes what overworked/over scheduled women can do to reignite the passion in their mates. The "Passion Seekers", a club of women that met to discuss passion and on whose experiences and discussions the book is based, came up with an idea: treat your mate's privates like you do you pet. Ok. I'm willing to try.
Now, we've got three cats and a hamster. The cats usually look after the care of the hamster, so you see where things go in this house.
If I treat DH's privates like I do our cats, this is what it would sound like:
"Quit nagging me!"
"No, you can't have more treats!"
"Really. You've had enough. Now go away."
There's also the strong possibility that DH would find himself on the other side of the bedroom door because his purring is too loud.
Maybe I should read into the next chapter ...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Vive le vent, vive le vent, vive le vent de neige
I think I got the lyrics right.
Today's our first snow fall. 2-4 cms to fall today, followed by
ice pellets, followed by 2-4 more cms of snow tonight, and then another 7-9 tomorrow.
Groovy.
I've dug out the older child-units' boots, snow pants and coats from last year. Thank small gods they didn't grow that much - though, CU-2 s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d into last year's pants (skin-tight puffy snow pants ARE a sight to be seen), and CU-1's are floods (terrific to look at when there are white socks involved).
CU-3 got some new duds from VVs (Value Village), so everything is right with the world there. CU-4 ... well ... he's not happy being cold so, even though he's got a snow cover, his hands and feet stick out. Mittens and boots ARE NOT satisfactory, so I've put him into CU-3's back-up - the MEC "Toaster suit". And OMG is it. Usually, you put in a nice, dry kid into this thing. They come out hot and toasty, though a bit moist from the condensation build up from their effort of play.
Guess I'll try again with another combo for CU-4, and hope that DXH kicks in with his shopping spree this weekend to get the older children clothes that actually fit.
The children were quite excited by the change of weather. They see it as an opportunity to go out and play. Now that construction has been complete, and we have a terrific window to the North of our house, facing into the yard, I say "YES! Do go out and play after supper." We only needed the snow to fulfill this need. Here's hoping it's a big, dry snow winter.
Mama wants to go out and play too!
Today's our first snow fall. 2-4 cms to fall today, followed by
ice pellets, followed by 2-4 more cms of snow tonight, and then another 7-9 tomorrow.Groovy.
I've dug out the older child-units' boots, snow pants and coats from last year. Thank small gods they didn't grow that much - though, CU-2 s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d into last year's pants (skin-tight puffy snow pants ARE a sight to be seen), and CU-1's are floods (terrific to look at when there are white socks involved).
CU-3 got some new duds from VVs (Value Village), so everything is right with the world there. CU-4 ... well ... he's not happy being cold so, even though he's got a snow cover, his hands and feet stick out. Mittens and boots ARE NOT satisfactory, so I've put him into CU-3's back-up - the MEC "Toaster suit". And OMG is it. Usually, you put in a nice, dry kid into this thing. They come out hot and toasty, though a bit moist from the condensation build up from their effort of play.
Guess I'll try again with another combo for CU-4, and hope that DXH kicks in with his shopping spree this weekend to get the older children clothes that actually fit.
The children were quite excited by the change of weather. They see it as an opportunity to go out and play. Now that construction has been complete, and we have a terrific window to the North of our house, facing into the yard, I say "YES! Do go out and play after supper." We only needed the snow to fulfill this need. Here's hoping it's a big, dry snow winter.
Mama wants to go out and play too!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Viva Las Vegas
So, the latest ... the children are going to Sin City for Christmas. Just what every pre-teen needs eh?
***
It's been a rough couple of days with hormones flying and wills being tested. I swear I'm not sure how I'm going to muster the patiences to make it through the next 20 years of child rearing. I'm already loosing it much too frequently for my liking. This is not the example I wanted to show my children.
I've been thinking about other blogs that I scope out on a regular basis - Jonathan who's looking to get his gaggle of kids shortly, Wrecking Crew who's got three boys, Editor who's almost through the teenage years and embarking on the last big push for her WonderBoy before he flies. They're getting through their issues. Mine seem minor compared. But their mine.
And I'm just a bit sad.
***
It's been a rough couple of days with hormones flying and wills being tested. I swear I'm not sure how I'm going to muster the patiences to make it through the next 20 years of child rearing. I'm already loosing it much too frequently for my liking. This is not the example I wanted to show my children.
I've been thinking about other blogs that I scope out on a regular basis - Jonathan who's looking to get his gaggle of kids shortly, Wrecking Crew who's got three boys, Editor who's almost through the teenage years and embarking on the last big push for her WonderBoy before he flies. They're getting through their issues. Mine seem minor compared. But their mine.
And I'm just a bit sad.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Ok ok I'll try to find something nice to talk about
Well, that was the idea anyway, until my DH handed me a steaming cup of NeoCitrine because I had sympathy symptoms after reading Wrecking Crew's Sunday and Monday. Now, barely able to type ... whine whine whine, ah, that's more like it!
No really. Things have been quite quiet at my end of things for a couple of weeks. The creative juices have been being fed from the bi-weekly salons we've been holding under the guise of "Pizza night" - a party we hold every second Friday when the older child units return from the weekly adventures in the parallel universe.
I've been trying to teach myself The Gimp because I want to make up some marketing materials for my special side distraction. I've not been trying super hard though, as CU-4, also known as CU the last, has become mobile.
CU-4 has got to be the fastest of the four. He can make it from the kitchen, around the front room (double parlor), through our master bedroom, into the a joining bathroom to lift the toilet seat and check the temperature (yup, same as the powder room toilet!) before I can figure out that he's no longer improving his vocabulary by eating pages from the dictionary.
He's a busy guy, as seen here, he's taken on his DF's role of watching the street for any wayward strangers or lurkers. (I think I've got to get him a old cardigan too so that he can sit on the porch with his dear pa and yell at the kids whose baseball falls into our yard!)
Sigh. Like father, like sons.
No really. Things have been quite quiet at my end of things for a couple of weeks. The creative juices have been being fed from the bi-weekly salons we've been holding under the guise of "Pizza night" - a party we hold every second Friday when the older child units return from the weekly adventures in the parallel universe.
I've been trying to teach myself The Gimp because I want to make up some marketing materials for my special side distraction. I've not been trying super hard though, as CU-4, also known as CU the last, has become mobile.
CU-4 has got to be the fastest of the four. He can make it from the kitchen, around the front room (double parlor), through our master bedroom, into the a joining bathroom to lift the toilet seat and check the temperature (yup, same as the powder room toilet!) before I can figure out that he's no longer improving his vocabulary by eating pages from the dictionary.
He's a busy guy, as seen here, he's taken on his DF's role of watching the street for any wayward strangers or lurkers. (I think I've got to get him a old cardigan too so that he can sit on the porch with his dear pa and yell at the kids whose baseball falls into our yard!)
Sigh. Like father, like sons.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Danger and annoyance
Drat! I thought too long and missed the deadline for the BlogFriday entry.
Last week's word was danger. This weeks word is annoyance. I think that I am annoyed with myself for overthinking the word danger.
The first thing that came to mind (like an ear worm) was a nagging reference to a cartoon character that I vaguely remember, something like Danger Rick. I think he was a raccoon. I could be wrong about it all though. I've been known to be wrong before! (But only once! ;-)
When I was able to sweep aside the ides of the raccoon named Rick, I was thinking about pedagogy of words in general and how flippantly people use them. No thought. There's a danger in that.
For example, while visiting some great friends yesterday, my friend was comforting her dog who was afraid of some loud noises emanating from the basement. While she soothed the pup with there-there's she also told him "don't cry". I kept thinking "why not?" The dog was scared. Why would you tell him to not express himself?
After coming out of a 10 year abusive relationship where things like showing any other emotion besides happiness was punished in some way, I've opted to speak out to those around me to give them permission to give themselves permission (follow that logic now). Two people whom I love dearly are still within the circle of influence of this negative model. When I see them I offer them a place to feel their emotions to the fullest - anger, sadness, fear. There's no danger here to cry. There's no scowling or displays of annoyance or fridgidness or withdrawal to be mad about injustices perceived or real. It's all real.
Last week's word was danger. This weeks word is annoyance. I think that I am annoyed with myself for overthinking the word danger.
The first thing that came to mind (like an ear worm) was a nagging reference to a cartoon character that I vaguely remember, something like Danger Rick. I think he was a raccoon. I could be wrong about it all though. I've been known to be wrong before! (But only once! ;-)
When I was able to sweep aside the ides of the raccoon named Rick, I was thinking about pedagogy of words in general and how flippantly people use them. No thought. There's a danger in that.
For example, while visiting some great friends yesterday, my friend was comforting her dog who was afraid of some loud noises emanating from the basement. While she soothed the pup with there-there's she also told him "don't cry". I kept thinking "why not?" The dog was scared. Why would you tell him to not express himself?
After coming out of a 10 year abusive relationship where things like showing any other emotion besides happiness was punished in some way, I've opted to speak out to those around me to give them permission to give themselves permission (follow that logic now). Two people whom I love dearly are still within the circle of influence of this negative model. When I see them I offer them a place to feel their emotions to the fullest - anger, sadness, fear. There's no danger here to cry. There's no scowling or displays of annoyance or fridgidness or withdrawal to be mad about injustices perceived or real. It's all real.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Happy November 1st, well, not any more
That's about as much enthusiasm as I can muster today.
Er, that was supposed to be yesterday's entry.
Yesterday I had many problems. Today I have the same problems, but it's a day later, and I'm hoping I've matured a bit.
Yesterday I had extreme small children/life-induced fatigue. Last night I got a pretty good deal - I sleep, DH gets up with any one who needs an escort to the bathroom/cuddle during the night. And I slept and dreamed. Weird dreams. But it was sleep.
My problems are in better perspective today. Maybe.
Today's problems are more carriable: discombobulated barrier near my kids school, insurance claims (standard in our house - not a week goes by without one going in), coming up with a good entry for BlogFriday, the GST rebate claim that STILL needs to be started (that I have two years before the deadline expires means my mojo isn't moving), laundry, self-pity, you know, yada yada - the norm. The difference is that maybe I won't have a hair-trigger explosion reaction to everything today. (Yesterday I was like a Pinto in a crash-up derby.)
As I tell my children when we get into a particularly bad mash up "tomorrow is another day". Seeing that tomorrow is now today, I'm going to try to embrace all that makes my day today and try to find something good in it. (Yah, it's a wee Pollyannaish, but I'm t-r-y-i-n-g.)
Er, that was supposed to be yesterday's entry.
Yesterday I had many problems. Today I have the same problems, but it's a day later, and I'm hoping I've matured a bit.
Yesterday I had extreme small children/life-induced fatigue. Last night I got a pretty good deal - I sleep, DH gets up with any one who needs an escort to the bathroom/cuddle during the night. And I slept and dreamed. Weird dreams. But it was sleep.
My problems are in better perspective today. Maybe.
Today's problems are more carriable: discombobulated barrier near my kids school, insurance claims (standard in our house - not a week goes by without one going in), coming up with a good entry for BlogFriday, the GST rebate claim that STILL needs to be started (that I have two years before the deadline expires means my mojo isn't moving), laundry, self-pity, you know, yada yada - the norm. The difference is that maybe I won't have a hair-trigger explosion reaction to everything today. (Yesterday I was like a Pinto in a crash-up derby.)
As I tell my children when we get into a particularly bad mash up "tomorrow is another day". Seeing that tomorrow is now today, I'm going to try to embrace all that makes my day today and try to find something good in it. (Yah, it's a wee Pollyannaish, but I'm t-r-y-i-n-g.)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Party on, dudette
Well, it's been a hell of a party and there are no current signs of abating. Lack of sleep and CU-4's very wonky sleep pattern (It's 2 a.m. and I'm UP! Oh. It's now 3:15 a.m. and I'm UP! Oh, look the kitty waaaants to have his ears pulled, and it's 4:10 a.m. why not? I'm UP!)
As the rotten cycle goes - I get tired and think - "Oh food is a fast pick-me up to give me the energy I need to make it through just long enough to put CU-4 down for a nap!". So I eat. I put him down for his nap, then, in the fog-induced state, think - I haven't had breakfast/lunch/a real meal ... and the circle of life spins out of control, and I rock on.
Lately, in order to distract myself from my current state, I've been trying to bake - not necessarily all that successfully, I might add. The worst of it happened yesterday when I was painting on the last finger nail to four dozen Witches' Finger cookies.
Bea-utes aren't they? Well, this is batch two. Batch one looked just as good or better when IT happened. The cookie sheet with ALL THE FINGERS slid - CRASH! BOOM! onto the floor. Not even the most expert surgeon would have been able to put these digits back together.
These babies went to school today. I was super grossed out by them. We'll see how CU-3's crew takes them.
Happy Hallowe'en eve!
As the rotten cycle goes - I get tired and think - "Oh food is a fast pick-me up to give me the energy I need to make it through just long enough to put CU-4 down for a nap!". So I eat. I put him down for his nap, then, in the fog-induced state, think - I haven't had breakfast/lunch/a real meal ... and the circle of life spins out of control, and I rock on.
Lately, in order to distract myself from my current state, I've been trying to bake - not necessarily all that successfully, I might add. The worst of it happened yesterday when I was painting on the last finger nail to four dozen Witches' Finger cookies.
Bea-utes aren't they? Well, this is batch two. Batch one looked just as good or better when IT happened. The cookie sheet with ALL THE FINGERS slid - CRASH! BOOM! onto the floor. Not even the most expert surgeon would have been able to put these digits back together.
These babies went to school today. I was super grossed out by them. We'll see how CU-3's crew takes them.
Happy Hallowe'en eve!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Opinions
Yesterday night, while at ball hockey with CU-1, I got tapped on the shoulder and was asked to participate in a focus group regarding health and safety of our kids at home, at school and withing the neighborhood and community.
I thought this was a rather obtuse topic to deal with within the confines of 40 minutes. I was also surprised that they had to recruit parents at a ball hockey night to get opinions. Why was there no advertising about this anywhere in the community prior to the two minute warning?
But, I attended and listened to three other moms talk about criteria they see as being important to providing the stability in a child's life.
Of the four of us who participated, I knew two of the others and extrapolate my observation to the fourth mom. We're all educated (which means we are more likely to be liberal and open to ideas, seeking assistance, and be willing to work towards and with solutions presented.) What I found interesting was that before this meeting I wouldn't have classified the the four of us as a representational cross-section of the people living in this community/catchment area. The women's self-declaration of the challenges they face helped me realize that we may have a greater level of education then my neighbors, but we are all struggling.
It was really helpful to hear about other parent's struggles raising their children. One mom had a son who was having difficulties in school and commented how schools were quick to want to label a kid, and that the community services and the pathways to assist the parent are not readily visible. Another parent talked about the difficulties of providing a stable home life when a parent may have to work multiple jobs or a swing shift, meanwhile juggling day or after school expenses, and personal needs and commitments.
And then there was the likes of me who waffles between panic and calm trying to figure out where the money's going to come from for the next two years until CU-4 is into regular day care (versus baby day care - there's a $900/month difference in the fees).
We self-identified as the working poor. Working to make ends not necessarily meet, but get a bit closer together.
* * *
Start of pity party
Because this is a pseudo-anonymous blog, I can further out myself by saying I make a good wage - well above the poverty line, as does DH. We're very careful with our money. We make our choices not based on support of the environment (which most people like to think is our motivation), but because our finances dictate greater frugality. We shop a the second hand shops. We use our local GT for at least half of our weekly groceries. We don't own a car because, well, where would the insurance and car payments come from?
To walk through our house, you'd never know we're running that close to the bone. It's not super fancy, but it has its luxuries (flat screen computer monitor (adult toy) and lots of kids toys in the yard). It's not because we spent a lot of money to get these things.
With some pride I can walk through my house and tell you what curb, or former home 85% of the things in my house came from. We have very very few new things -- which, I keep telling myself, is ok. The kids don't seem to mind. (Christmas is coming, though, and we can't get them anything that they've asked for.) I think I've fooled myself into saying that it's even fun to try to beat my system and stretch that dollar as if it was running a marathon. Alas, brain washing isn't permanent.
So, if you've read this far, you're probably asking "What's the point of this blog post?" Whining, dear readers. Full blown whining, an opportunity to wallow in self-pity about choices I've made and how I have self-inflicted problems. I just need to worry out loud. Panic, more like it. Sometimes it helps free up space so that I can come up with parts of a solution.
I thought this was a rather obtuse topic to deal with within the confines of 40 minutes. I was also surprised that they had to recruit parents at a ball hockey night to get opinions. Why was there no advertising about this anywhere in the community prior to the two minute warning?
But, I attended and listened to three other moms talk about criteria they see as being important to providing the stability in a child's life.
Of the four of us who participated, I knew two of the others and extrapolate my observation to the fourth mom. We're all educated (which means we are more likely to be liberal and open to ideas, seeking assistance, and be willing to work towards and with solutions presented.) What I found interesting was that before this meeting I wouldn't have classified the the four of us as a representational cross-section of the people living in this community/catchment area. The women's self-declaration of the challenges they face helped me realize that we may have a greater level of education then my neighbors, but we are all struggling.
It was really helpful to hear about other parent's struggles raising their children. One mom had a son who was having difficulties in school and commented how schools were quick to want to label a kid, and that the community services and the pathways to assist the parent are not readily visible. Another parent talked about the difficulties of providing a stable home life when a parent may have to work multiple jobs or a swing shift, meanwhile juggling day or after school expenses, and personal needs and commitments.
And then there was the likes of me who waffles between panic and calm trying to figure out where the money's going to come from for the next two years until CU-4 is into regular day care (versus baby day care - there's a $900/month difference in the fees).
We self-identified as the working poor. Working to make ends not necessarily meet, but get a bit closer together.
* * *
Start of pity party
Because this is a pseudo-anonymous blog, I can further out myself by saying I make a good wage - well above the poverty line, as does DH. We're very careful with our money. We make our choices not based on support of the environment (which most people like to think is our motivation), but because our finances dictate greater frugality. We shop a the second hand shops. We use our local GT for at least half of our weekly groceries. We don't own a car because, well, where would the insurance and car payments come from?
To walk through our house, you'd never know we're running that close to the bone. It's not super fancy, but it has its luxuries (flat screen computer monitor (adult toy) and lots of kids toys in the yard). It's not because we spent a lot of money to get these things.
With some pride I can walk through my house and tell you what curb, or former home 85% of the things in my house came from. We have very very few new things -- which, I keep telling myself, is ok. The kids don't seem to mind. (Christmas is coming, though, and we can't get them anything that they've asked for.) I think I've fooled myself into saying that it's even fun to try to beat my system and stretch that dollar as if it was running a marathon. Alas, brain washing isn't permanent.
So, if you've read this far, you're probably asking "What's the point of this blog post?" Whining, dear readers. Full blown whining, an opportunity to wallow in self-pity about choices I've made and how I have self-inflicted problems. I just need to worry out loud. Panic, more like it. Sometimes it helps free up space so that I can come up with parts of a solution.
Monday, October 22, 2007
If you have nothing to say ...
I grew up with a the Mothership using a lot of adages to get me through the day - of the several that comes to mind is goes something like "If you don't have anything nice to say about some one, don't say anything at all." Now I've used that adage a couple of times -- like many years ago when a work colleague brought in her baby that looked like a very small chimpanzee. Today, well, I have something not nice to say, and I'm trying really hard to be polite about it.
Today I had to take CU-2 to the hospital to have her cast and break looked at. (Did I mention this is the second time she's broken her arm? This time, it's her other arm and she broke it falling out of a tree. Oh my talented child!)
Anyway, I was under the impression that it was to take her cast off. She was the same. This is the information implied, though not necessarily directly relayed by her father's partner who apparently took CU-2 to the hospital to have the break set. This is the same guy who is not a legal guardian of this child and who, by law (and our arbitrated agreement), should not be bringing her anywhere medical, unless either her father or her mother (ME!) are unreachable. (In the event that her father can't take her, I'm supposed to go.)
So here I am. Trying to find nice things to say about the situation. I'm of two minds. One is I appreciate that one of the two (hmmm, trying very hard to choose nice words here) actually cares enough about children that aren't his biologically. And I do appreciate at DXH's partner is taking steps to communicate with me in a more open and direct manner. It helps a bit.
That doesn't stop me guts from churning that they're passing my kids the kids off as theirs. It's bullshit. Sheer bullshit.
Though, in counting my blessings it's not as bad as my friend (see previous posting).
I may have that to look forward to in a couple of years when we have to help CU-1 choose the next school (high school).
Today I had to take CU-2 to the hospital to have her cast and break looked at. (Did I mention this is the second time she's broken her arm? This time, it's her other arm and she broke it falling out of a tree. Oh my talented child!)
Anyway, I was under the impression that it was to take her cast off. She was the same. This is the information implied, though not necessarily directly relayed by her father's partner who apparently took CU-2 to the hospital to have the break set. This is the same guy who is not a legal guardian of this child and who, by law (and our arbitrated agreement), should not be bringing her anywhere medical, unless either her father or her mother (ME!) are unreachable. (In the event that her father can't take her, I'm supposed to go.)
So here I am. Trying to find nice things to say about the situation. I'm of two minds. One is I appreciate that one of the two (hmmm, trying very hard to choose nice words here) actually cares enough about children that aren't his biologically. And I do appreciate at DXH's partner is taking steps to communicate with me in a more open and direct manner. It helps a bit.
That doesn't stop me guts from churning that they're passing my kids the kids off as theirs. It's bullshit. Sheer bullshit.
Though, in counting my blessings it's not as bad as my friend (see previous posting).
I may have that to look forward to in a couple of years when we have to help CU-1 choose the next school (high school).
Friday, October 19, 2007
Disbelief, that's a word for it
Ok, this one is easy to blog about, but may not be of interest to that many people.
I have a friend (yes really, it's not me) to whom I was introduce based on a commonality - divorce and children. She had and I have. That's were much of the commonality begins and ends on this particular topic.
She's an interesting woman to know. Smart, attractive, sporty and capable. And let me not forget, crippled by the Canadian (in)justice system.
In the divorce decree that was made at the time many years ago, she was not healthy and was unable to defend herself against the much better (financially) positioned ex-spouse. He went at her tooth and nail and walked away with the children. Over the years, he has continued to verbally, emotionally and financially rein rough over his ex-wife (and their children but not using the money she sends him to raise their children). One could say the family has fallen apart after the divorce -- in so many ways.
She has paid, big time. She has supporting three children who have learned (by simply going through the process of teenagers in a ME-ME-ME world and by his own example) to continue to sustain the abuse when they are with their mother.
She has been kept in an economic vice for so many years that she is close to the poverty line.
While this story isn't uncommon - the part that I find so discouraging and that makes me so fearful for having to deal with my ex-husband is the burnt-earth financial policy that some judges allow to stand.
In the case of my friend, she was back in court recently to request lower payments as her eldest child was not in school, had joined the military, and was married. The judge refused to hear her case, lambasted her for wasting the court's time and gave her an additional financial penalty to her already heavy burden.
I read this account with great disbelief.
Where is the justice in the law. I am aware that law IS black and white. It makes me question the greater good. What lesson can be learned by beating some one continuously? Why does this woman receive NO compassion or relief any time she is before the courts?
From the side of the ex-husband - he continues to hold the upper hand. He continues the financial warfare and is encouraged to do so every time the judge rules.
I hope the karma bus comes for you Sir.
I have a friend (yes really, it's not me) to whom I was introduce based on a commonality - divorce and children. She had and I have. That's were much of the commonality begins and ends on this particular topic.
She's an interesting woman to know. Smart, attractive, sporty and capable. And let me not forget, crippled by the Canadian (in)justice system.
In the divorce decree that was made at the time many years ago, she was not healthy and was unable to defend herself against the much better (financially) positioned ex-spouse. He went at her tooth and nail and walked away with the children. Over the years, he has continued to verbally, emotionally and financially rein rough over his ex-wife (and their children but not using the money she sends him to raise their children). One could say the family has fallen apart after the divorce -- in so many ways.
She has paid, big time. She has supporting three children who have learned (by simply going through the process of teenagers in a ME-ME-ME world and by his own example) to continue to sustain the abuse when they are with their mother.
She has been kept in an economic vice for so many years that she is close to the poverty line.
While this story isn't uncommon - the part that I find so discouraging and that makes me so fearful for having to deal with my ex-husband is the burnt-earth financial policy that some judges allow to stand.
In the case of my friend, she was back in court recently to request lower payments as her eldest child was not in school, had joined the military, and was married. The judge refused to hear her case, lambasted her for wasting the court's time and gave her an additional financial penalty to her already heavy burden.
I read this account with great disbelief.
Where is the justice in the law. I am aware that law IS black and white. It makes me question the greater good. What lesson can be learned by beating some one continuously? Why does this woman receive NO compassion or relief any time she is before the courts?
From the side of the ex-husband - he continues to hold the upper hand. He continues the financial warfare and is encouraged to do so every time the judge rules.
I hope the karma bus comes for you Sir.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Struggles
I've been struggling with this weeks word assignment: Achievement.
It's easy for me to think of other's achievements, and I could certainly write about the pride I have for my siblings who are successful - my sister the triathalete and amazing parent, my brother who gets to go to Hawaii for two weeks to look at dams, and my other brother - the former scientist with several patents to his name. I can wander in and around and through my memories of their various life achievements. I can even do this exercise for my children - CU-2 who's done an amazing job in Girl Guides despite only getting to go to less then half the meetings. CU-3 who shows talent in so many areas that I'm looking forward to her growth with both fear and excitement.
So, while I can talk about achievements of others I find it greatly difficult to look at my own. It's been three nights that I've been trying to draw up a list as a sort of self-identifying exercise. The only things on my list so far are that I've walked Miles-for-Millions, a fund raising activity twice and both times I walked the full 26 miles (in one day). I also walked 26 miles to follow up a Chinese food craving when I worked in Yellowstone National Park.
My sister's boy did this type of exercise (identify things you've done in your life that show your achievements) as part of a high school course. She said it was an enriching process for him to see everything that he'd attained to date (racing medals, swimming awards, and report cards). She told him he could use this to build his resume, and, better yet, when he's going through a crappy time in his life, he'll be able to sit down with this record before him to show himself that he can be successful and feel pride in his achievements.
It's easy for me to think of other's achievements, and I could certainly write about the pride I have for my siblings who are successful - my sister the triathalete and amazing parent, my brother who gets to go to Hawaii for two weeks to look at dams, and my other brother - the former scientist with several patents to his name. I can wander in and around and through my memories of their various life achievements. I can even do this exercise for my children - CU-2 who's done an amazing job in Girl Guides despite only getting to go to less then half the meetings. CU-3 who shows talent in so many areas that I'm looking forward to her growth with both fear and excitement.
So, while I can talk about achievements of others I find it greatly difficult to look at my own. It's been three nights that I've been trying to draw up a list as a sort of self-identifying exercise. The only things on my list so far are that I've walked Miles-for-Millions, a fund raising activity twice and both times I walked the full 26 miles (in one day). I also walked 26 miles to follow up a Chinese food craving when I worked in Yellowstone National Park.
My sister's boy did this type of exercise (identify things you've done in your life that show your achievements) as part of a high school course. She said it was an enriching process for him to see everything that he'd attained to date (racing medals, swimming awards, and report cards). She told him he could use this to build his resume, and, better yet, when he's going through a crappy time in his life, he'll be able to sit down with this record before him to show himself that he can be successful and feel pride in his achievements.
Monday, October 15, 2007
96 bottles, er, days left
Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, and rightly so. It tends to eat away at the very fabric of one's core if not held in check.
Regrettably, I figure this attribute is my worst character flaw.
What brings on this bout of angst you may wonder? I checked in with work this morning to read the weekly departmental wrap sheet.
Sigh.
With being out for a year on maternity leave, it's hard for me not to be part of the work environment. I feel fulfilled there and I get fulfillment from the work I do. I feel like I'm doing something more then laundry, which is not what I wanted to do when I grew up.
In today's release, there's a good, dedicated space to a colleague who picked up the 2nd, and more visible half of a project I struggled with. On one hand, I'm thrilled to be away from the project. It was gross, and my bain. On the other hand, I can be big enough to recognize that she's well on working a difficult project. On the other hand, without me mucking about in the trenches, I don't think she would have had the chance, nor would it have been this amiable.
Thus the bout of jealousy. It's eating at me. I want to be back at work. It was MY project damit! It was my turn to shine. It was my turn to get a chance at the golden ring! (Chances for me seem to come around less often then for my colleague. I just don't have the perky personality to grease the way up the ladder.)
Ooooh. Is that being too bitchy?
Like a cow, I'd like to be outstanding in my field.
Regrettably, I figure this attribute is my worst character flaw.
What brings on this bout of angst you may wonder? I checked in with work this morning to read the weekly departmental wrap sheet.
Sigh.
With being out for a year on maternity leave, it's hard for me not to be part of the work environment. I feel fulfilled there and I get fulfillment from the work I do. I feel like I'm doing something more then laundry, which is not what I wanted to do when I grew up.
In today's release, there's a good, dedicated space to a colleague who picked up the 2nd, and more visible half of a project I struggled with. On one hand, I'm thrilled to be away from the project. It was gross, and my bain. On the other hand, I can be big enough to recognize that she's well on working a difficult project. On the other hand, without me mucking about in the trenches, I don't think she would have had the chance, nor would it have been this amiable.
Thus the bout of jealousy. It's eating at me. I want to be back at work. It was MY project damit! It was my turn to shine. It was my turn to get a chance at the golden ring! (Chances for me seem to come around less often then for my colleague. I just don't have the perky personality to grease the way up the ladder.)
Ooooh. Is that being too bitchy?
Like a cow, I'd like to be outstanding in my field.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
My bald baby
It took three children to have the dreaded hair cut incident.
She'd walked away with a kid's scissors.
We'd thought she was working on crafts.
CU-4 was providing cover for her, distracting us by pulling down papers and getting into the tangle of computer wires.
Then it got quite.
"Where's CU-3?"
"CU-3??!"
"I'm in here Da-a-a-hd."
[It's dark in there.]
"Whatchadoing?"
"Cutting my hair."
The air caught a collective OH SHIT!
So she's got a big bald spot on the side of her head. That's an achievement the other three haven't done yet.
She'd walked away with a kid's scissors.
We'd thought she was working on crafts.
CU-4 was providing cover for her, distracting us by pulling down papers and getting into the tangle of computer wires.
Then it got quite.
"Where's CU-3?"
"CU-3??!"
"I'm in here Da-a-a-hd."
[It's dark in there.]
"Whatchadoing?"
"Cutting my hair."
The air caught a collective OH SHIT!
So she's got a big bald spot on the side of her head. That's an achievement the other three haven't done yet.
Addictions
Hi, my name is MongoAdventurer and I'm addicted to my kid's Webkinz games.
There. I did it. It's a first step. An achievement of sorts.
There. I did it. It's a first step. An achievement of sorts.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Friday's love list
Meg Fowler's thrown me a twist today - I'd have to come up with a Megish love list. Arrrgh. I find coming up with my own a tricky feat. I'd started my own, when I realized that I thought I misread the post (I had ...). Thus, for you two or three readers, here's *my* Friday love list:
Love list?
1. A back that doesn't ache.
2. Wet, cold, rainy days. I so much more appreciate the bed, a warm cup-a, books, bathes, TV, CBC radio, especially when they play jazz.
3. An old fashioned snow storm.
4. Shoes that fit well.
5. Scallops.
6. That my body still does what I need it to do, despite the abuse I've put it through.
7. Creative thinking.
8. Humor.
9. Holding hands.
10. Walking through fallen leaves.
11. The smell of a cold morning.
12. Hats.
13. Hats on babies.
What do you love?
Love list?
1. A back that doesn't ache.
2. Wet, cold, rainy days. I so much more appreciate the bed, a warm cup-a, books, bathes, TV, CBC radio, especially when they play jazz.
3. An old fashioned snow storm.
4. Shoes that fit well.
5. Scallops.
6. That my body still does what I need it to do, despite the abuse I've put it through.
7. Creative thinking.
8. Humor.
9. Holding hands.
10. Walking through fallen leaves.
11. The smell of a cold morning.
12. Hats.
13. Hats on babies.
What do you love?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Sadly but true
From the good fellows at Demotivators.
P.S. A good combination of the Conair back-thumper, some over-the-counter meds, and an amazing nap with CU-4 means the back is BACK! Wahoo! Laundry here I come!
P.S. A good combination of the Conair back-thumper, some over-the-counter meds, and an amazing nap with CU-4 means the back is BACK! Wahoo! Laundry here I come!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Slim pickings today
Today could be a country-western song, though instead of heart-=ache, I've got back ache, and big time. Thanks to CU-4, I kind of pulled muscles in some pretty bad places.
I've also been spending my time trying to distract myself from the pain by reading other people's blogs. Meg Fowler's trash-talk was particularly funny and helpful to relieve the endorphins today.
I'll do just about anything to speed the recovery.
I've also been spending my time trying to distract myself from the pain by reading other people's blogs. Meg Fowler's trash-talk was particularly funny and helpful to relieve the endorphins today.
I'll do just about anything to speed the recovery.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Happy Turkey Day
Gawd I'm knackered and stuffed! Got gross Pepto stuffed. Just nice and all roundy feeling from a pleasant dinner, great wine and fun talk with good friends.
Thank you all and happy turkey day 2007.
Thank you all and happy turkey day 2007.
Friday, October 05, 2007
"Diff'rent is nice but it sure isn't pretty"
From A Chorus Line, "At the ballet"
Mother always said I'd be very attractive
When I grew up, when I grew up.
"Diff'rent," she said, "With a special something
And a very, very personal flair."
And though I was eight or nine,
Though I was eight or nine,
Though I was eight or nine,
I hated her.
Now,
"Diff'rent" is nice, but it sure isn't pretty.
"Pretty" is what it's about.
I never met anyone who was "diff'rent"
Who couldn't figure that out.
So beautiful I'd never lived to see.
But it was clear,
If not to her,
Well, then... to me...
That ...
Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.
Every prince has got to have his swan.
Yes,
Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.
Hey!...
I was pretty...
At the ballet
***
When the word different came up as the word of the week, this is what I immediately thought of. It seems, that to some degree, I live my life through snipits of musicals. When I'm happy, I sing in full voice (in my head) OKLAHOMA! or Singing in the Rain. And when I'm sad, there's a sound track to that.
I'm different. Always was. Auburn haired. Speckled like a ripe banana. I stood out from my peers. Didn't help that my mother dressed me a little more creatively then other students at my clique-y elementary school. It was too late by the time I reached junior high.
Over the years I've wanted to be part of the in crowd, or any crowd. (Much like the line from Ferris Bueller's Day off - he was popular with the dweebs and the potheads, motor heads and jocks.) Oh how I tried. Looking back, I figure I must have had some guardian angels pulling the feathers out of their wings trying to keep me on track!
A few major wrong turns, a few overcorrections later, and here I am. Happier with myself. Finding myself amongst the creatives who are different and who see it as a good thing.
I've got children who are different; each with his or her strength. I look at them and wonder if they're going to be outsiders looking in, or insiders looking out. Will they reach out or within to show compassion when there is an opportunity. How different or how conforming will they be to smooth out their journey.
Two of the four CU-s already live a different life. How is this going to mold them for the future?
They too face an amazing journey. I looking forward to watching them as they take steps, and hope they find peace with their differences.
Mother always said I'd be very attractive
When I grew up, when I grew up.
"Diff'rent," she said, "With a special something
And a very, very personal flair."
And though I was eight or nine,
Though I was eight or nine,
Though I was eight or nine,
I hated her.
Now,
"Diff'rent" is nice, but it sure isn't pretty.
"Pretty" is what it's about.
I never met anyone who was "diff'rent"
Who couldn't figure that out.
So beautiful I'd never lived to see.
But it was clear,
If not to her,
Well, then... to me...
That ...
Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.
Every prince has got to have his swan.
Yes,
Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.
Hey!...
I was pretty...
At the ballet
***
When the word different came up as the word of the week, this is what I immediately thought of. It seems, that to some degree, I live my life through snipits of musicals. When I'm happy, I sing in full voice (in my head) OKLAHOMA! or Singing in the Rain. And when I'm sad, there's a sound track to that.
I'm different. Always was. Auburn haired. Speckled like a ripe banana. I stood out from my peers. Didn't help that my mother dressed me a little more creatively then other students at my clique-y elementary school. It was too late by the time I reached junior high.
Over the years I've wanted to be part of the in crowd, or any crowd. (Much like the line from Ferris Bueller's Day off - he was popular with the dweebs and the potheads, motor heads and jocks.) Oh how I tried. Looking back, I figure I must have had some guardian angels pulling the feathers out of their wings trying to keep me on track!
A few major wrong turns, a few overcorrections later, and here I am. Happier with myself. Finding myself amongst the creatives who are different and who see it as a good thing.
I've got children who are different; each with his or her strength. I look at them and wonder if they're going to be outsiders looking in, or insiders looking out. Will they reach out or within to show compassion when there is an opportunity. How different or how conforming will they be to smooth out their journey.
Two of the four CU-s already live a different life. How is this going to mold them for the future?
They too face an amazing journey. I looking forward to watching them as they take steps, and hope they find peace with their differences.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
The more things change ...
This week's word from Blog Friday is journey. Funny that.
When I first thought about it, I thought about the band Journey ("I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you" fame - for me, anyway.) Then I thought about what kind of photo response entry I could put in over at I Spy, though I don't know how many more responses I can link from that account, as I read the fine print that said it was to induce writing. Then I started to look in one of the Canadian house magazines to which I subscribe - the title of the editorial was about journies. And DH just returned from his trip, and one of the parental units left for his.
This is becoming more of a spooky coincidence thing ...
When I first thought about it, I thought about the band Journey ("I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you" fame - for me, anyway.) Then I thought about what kind of photo response entry I could put in over at I Spy, though I don't know how many more responses I can link from that account, as I read the fine print that said it was to induce writing. Then I started to look in one of the Canadian house magazines to which I subscribe - the title of the editorial was about journies. And DH just returned from his trip, and one of the parental units left for his.
This is becoming more of a spooky coincidence thing ...
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Away
I was a way for four days. Just f-o-u-r little days, and what happens? All h-e-double-hockey sticks breaks loose.
- One of the three furry roommates pooped, albeit discretely, in the corner.
- My bank account got decimated (all legitimate expenses coming out).
- The paper recycling didn't get picked up. (Mind you, it might have been plastic and tin this week.)
- I got almost no mail.
- The mail I got was to tell me that my flipping order didn't go through because I had the nerve to give them a wrong credit card number!
- No one got me groceries so I came home to an empty (and dirty) refrigerator.
- I find out that sheet has been breaking out at work and I don't return for another 110 days.
- No one scooped the cat box (see first entry).
- CU-3 has overdue books.
- Came home to a message on the answering machine that CU-2 broke her arm again. (This time it's her other arm, the one she writes with.)
- Picked up emails from DXH part 2 (who's getting really really chummy) to say that CH-1 vomited in his car during the drive home on transfer day and was wondering what he'd had to eat. (It could be your breath that CU-2 complains about regularly.)
So, I'm having an OMG moment right now because DH is still away - not that I can't cope - I just can't cope with ALL OF THIS AT THE SAME TIME.
** Deep breath **
Dancing with the stars is almost on, and there was a sale of Little Debbies at our local neighborhood department store, so, I gotta' go.
- One of the three furry roommates pooped, albeit discretely, in the corner.
- My bank account got decimated (all legitimate expenses coming out).
- The paper recycling didn't get picked up. (Mind you, it might have been plastic and tin this week.)
- I got almost no mail.
- The mail I got was to tell me that my flipping order didn't go through because I had the nerve to give them a wrong credit card number!
- No one got me groceries so I came home to an empty (and dirty) refrigerator.
- I find out that sheet has been breaking out at work and I don't return for another 110 days.
- No one scooped the cat box (see first entry).
- CU-3 has overdue books.
- Came home to a message on the answering machine that CU-2 broke her arm again. (This time it's her other arm, the one she writes with.)
- Picked up emails from DXH part 2 (who's getting really really chummy) to say that CH-1 vomited in his car during the drive home on transfer day and was wondering what he'd had to eat. (It could be your breath that CU-2 complains about regularly.)
So, I'm having an OMG moment right now because DH is still away - not that I can't cope - I just can't cope with ALL OF THIS AT THE SAME TIME.
** Deep breath **
Dancing with the stars is almost on, and there was a sale of Little Debbies at our local neighborhood department store, so, I gotta' go.
Friday, September 28, 2007
It's Friday here. Is it Friday there?
Our number is regularly mistaken for a pool product provider, pizza parlor, fooze ball equipment issuer, and computer store. On occasion, DH and I have been known to get creative and have some fun with our responses to the miss-dialer's inquiries.
For example, yesterday I got a call from some one who wanted to order two pizzas. My response?
"I'd like to help you, but I only make pizzas on Fridays."
Puzzled "Oh" and a l-o-n-g pause.
"Ah, do I have the wrong number?"
"Yes. Yes you do."
DH fielded a called about pool skimmers:
"Do you have that wand-thing that cleans pools?"
"No. No I don't. I don't even have a pool."
These are not necessarily the most creative responses - they do give us a laugh, in one of those you-had-to-be-there moments.
For example, yesterday I got a call from some one who wanted to order two pizzas. My response?
"I'd like to help you, but I only make pizzas on Fridays."
Puzzled "Oh" and a l-o-n-g pause.
"Ah, do I have the wrong number?"
"Yes. Yes you do."
DH fielded a called about pool skimmers:
"Do you have that wand-thing that cleans pools?"
"No. No I don't. I don't even have a pool."
These are not necessarily the most creative responses - they do give us a laugh, in one of those you-had-to-be-there moments.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
And yet another reason to post today
Beginnings and endings. Starts and stops. Don't get me started. Start your engines. Start button. Start spreading the news ...
Exploration of a single word can cause profound results. In this case, it's another social networking, blogging exercise in support of writers - to get them going on something - this something is a word. The word for this week is START.
* * * * *
A few months back, when I was working on a project with a PM, I was told "Words don't matter". Every once in a while I trot out this gem to tease him with his own words. The irony is that words do matter.
The child hood rhyme:
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But names will never hurt me.
is so completely and utterly WRONG.
Verbal abuse is insidious and vicious. While leaving no visible marks, it can cut a person's psyche. I witnessed the children's version while watching the first few minutes of CU-2's dance class role out. A kid was being teased about his name, which ordinarily enough, like Bob, has a longer version as he put it. He liked the short version and didn't want to be known by the more formal. The kids picked on him by refusing to accept his preference, and even tried to involve the teacher in on their play. And so it starts.
Exploration of a single word can cause profound results. In this case, it's another social networking, blogging exercise in support of writers - to get them going on something - this something is a word. The word for this week is START.
* * * * *
A few months back, when I was working on a project with a PM, I was told "Words don't matter". Every once in a while I trot out this gem to tease him with his own words. The irony is that words do matter.
The child hood rhyme:
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But names will never hurt me.
is so completely and utterly WRONG.
Verbal abuse is insidious and vicious. While leaving no visible marks, it can cut a person's psyche. I witnessed the children's version while watching the first few minutes of CU-2's dance class role out. A kid was being teased about his name, which ordinarily enough, like Bob, has a longer version as he put it. He liked the short version and didn't want to be known by the more formal. The kids picked on him by refusing to accept his preference, and even tried to involve the teacher in on their play. And so it starts.
Wii
Last week I dashed off a very short (under the 250 word limit) story for NetChick's 10th anniversary blogging. The low turn-out of entries meant that I actually made the final 20 cut.
She's put out a call to vote for the most popular. I'm number 12. (It's bad, and I don't think I'd win. Hell, I wouldn't even vote for me, liking other's stories much much more.) It was done on a lark though. So there.
She's put out a call to vote for the most popular. I'm number 12. (It's bad, and I don't think I'd win. Hell, I wouldn't even vote for me, liking other's stories much much more.) It was done on a lark though. So there.
Monday, September 24, 2007
What goes up just goes higher
Having four CUs means home work. CU-1 and CU-2 have theirs. CU-3 doesn't have any, but has made it her duty to disrupt CU-1 and 2 from doing theirs. CU-4 is into every one's business. That's his home work. Makes for an interesting couple of hours as I try to peel kids off of one another and lift and separate so that something gets done. Sigh. (All this ordinary stuff going on while the 'fridge was warming up the leftovers, and the stove lost power.)
Alas, that amusement was precluded by an outside spectacle.
Tonight was especially taxing because we had extracurricular entertainment. A neighbor from the other block came around to visit. While standing at the curb, we watched a train of cars line up the street for a bidding party. (Seven. SEVEN bidders lined up to buy a small three-bedroom home.) We talked with one of the bidders who lost out on other homes in the area already. They'd bidded 10 k more then the asking price. They lost out. They were 32 k SHORT of the final bid. (The house went for 42.5 k more then the asking price, and there were problems with it!) This is just insane. Especially in our neighborhood. So far houses go up, have one open house and are sold within 24 hours. Scary. And the fun will begin yet again next week. The flipper down the street will be putting his up for sale, and it will probably go fast too. We'll see if the they top the former record set this summer for our block 70k above their asking price in a bidding war (10 people involved).
Alas, that amusement was precluded by an outside spectacle.
Tonight was especially taxing because we had extracurricular entertainment. A neighbor from the other block came around to visit. While standing at the curb, we watched a train of cars line up the street for a bidding party. (Seven. SEVEN bidders lined up to buy a small three-bedroom home.) We talked with one of the bidders who lost out on other homes in the area already. They'd bidded 10 k more then the asking price. They lost out. They were 32 k SHORT of the final bid. (The house went for 42.5 k more then the asking price, and there were problems with it!) This is just insane. Especially in our neighborhood. So far houses go up, have one open house and are sold within 24 hours. Scary. And the fun will begin yet again next week. The flipper down the street will be putting his up for sale, and it will probably go fast too. We'll see if the they top the former record set this summer for our block 70k above their asking price in a bidding war (10 people involved).
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The end
So, it came and went.
A one hour visit, just like one big happy family. (Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.)
Almost on the dot, it started.
They sneaked by the century standing on guard by parking around the corner. Didn't want to be too conspicuous did they?
The doorbell bonged while I was sneaking the coffee pot to the front room so that CU-1 could more easily serve his guests.
I said a quick hello to the floor as they walked in, and quickly moved to the other door so that I could let CU do what he needed to do.
Apparently DH walked right into the fray and got invited to coffee. Apparently he didn't hear me announce that the posse had arrived.
I went back to my work in the yard, an equally laborious task trying to turn over sun-hardened mud. (I'm turning that part of the yard back to grass ... until I can think of something else to do with it.)
After about 15 minutes of work, ease dropping on them using the room monitor feature that our phone has (the phone had been set up to monitor CU-4 while he slept), I went in to show my face.
It was awkward. Here I am in my own house, and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable. CU-2 warmed up to the occasion, which reduced my discomfort. CU-3 was all over my DXH, which was just weird, considering how starchy he appeared. DXH's partner, (I'll have to come up with a name for him as he might start becoming a regular here ... hmmmm DXH part 2?), with dogglet force field fully engaged (dog on lap pose) was having a chat with CU-1 and DH. Weird. All very weird.
DXH part 2 was carrying most of the conversations. Sometimes it's good to be a seriously gay man, it seems to come with an amazing ability that covers awkward social situations. This one really was one of those times when DXH part 2's talents just shone through.
So on this went for a good 30 minutes. I prompted CU-1 to give a house tour to the DXHs, which, in satisfying their curiosity, perhaps they'd get the feeling they could then move on to something else.
CU-2 had warmed up enough to show off her room. CU-1 did his as well. DXH part 2 remarked how much the color choices the CUs made were so much like that in their own home. Well duh. The children want consistency ... He was also surprised that I let the children pick out their own room color. Well, #1. it's only paint. #2. It's their room. #3. I don't have to look at it. So there. But, I didn't say anything sarcastic. Just said that CU-3 will soon be making her own choice too. DXH part 2 feigned surprise.
Almost at the one hour mark, they finally left. DXH part 2's parting shot was to suggest that maybe we should get together on a monthly basis (all eight of us) for brunch. Ah yah right. This from the couple who just mere weeks ago continued to verbally and emotionally abuse me and the children. Ah yah, sure.
No no boys. I said yes to CU-1's request because:
#1. This IS his home too, and he is allowed to invite his friends home and have them feel welcome.
#2. I've spent the last f-o-u-r y-e-a-r-s waving the forking laurel wreath around. What does that say to you? That suddenly, because you suggested CU-1 has extended an invitation, that you're a hero and being a big person for accepting an invitation that's been extended to you over and over and over again.
#3. I'm hoping that you all come to your senses and not just ignore the hard won arbitration "agreement", that you recognize your hard-ass tactics with the children just were not getting you anywhere and that we're coming up to the very very important teen years when lots of emotions and coming-of-age shit gets mixed up and that their lives better have settled, safe havens to land or you are playing a crap shoot with them deciding to make permanent decisions about where they live and how often they see you.
#4. C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y. Children thrive with consistency in their lives, though it doesn't preclude spontaneity. When you have a child who has difficulties, and has diagnosis's that suggest consistency in all aspects of that child's life might reduce the bumps, well ******, what do you think that might mean? (Oh wait a minute, that's right, perhaps this question is to hard to ask the guy who rewrote the definition of monogamy.)
So, for the benefit of OUR kids. I'll kiss your ass, or, really, make that DXH part 2's hairy back side, as he's the one wearing the skirts in your household, in order to make this work for OUR kids. As of right now, I just don't think I'm open to brunch. I think my dance card is full. I have to wash my hair. I have to vacuum the cat. My mustache needs trimming. There's the litter pan to clean. I have to re-grout the tub. And, of course, there's that much needed root canal.
But, thanks for coming.
A one hour visit, just like one big happy family. (Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.)
Almost on the dot, it started.
They sneaked by the century standing on guard by parking around the corner. Didn't want to be too conspicuous did they?
The doorbell bonged while I was sneaking the coffee pot to the front room so that CU-1 could more easily serve his guests.
I said a quick hello to the floor as they walked in, and quickly moved to the other door so that I could let CU do what he needed to do.
Apparently DH walked right into the fray and got invited to coffee. Apparently he didn't hear me announce that the posse had arrived.
I went back to my work in the yard, an equally laborious task trying to turn over sun-hardened mud. (I'm turning that part of the yard back to grass ... until I can think of something else to do with it.)
After about 15 minutes of work, ease dropping on them using the room monitor feature that our phone has (the phone had been set up to monitor CU-4 while he slept), I went in to show my face.
It was awkward. Here I am in my own house, and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable. CU-2 warmed up to the occasion, which reduced my discomfort. CU-3 was all over my DXH, which was just weird, considering how starchy he appeared. DXH's partner, (I'll have to come up with a name for him as he might start becoming a regular here ... hmmmm DXH part 2?), with dogglet force field fully engaged (dog on lap pose) was having a chat with CU-1 and DH. Weird. All very weird.
DXH part 2 was carrying most of the conversations. Sometimes it's good to be a seriously gay man, it seems to come with an amazing ability that covers awkward social situations. This one really was one of those times when DXH part 2's talents just shone through.
So on this went for a good 30 minutes. I prompted CU-1 to give a house tour to the DXHs, which, in satisfying their curiosity, perhaps they'd get the feeling they could then move on to something else.
CU-2 had warmed up enough to show off her room. CU-1 did his as well. DXH part 2 remarked how much the color choices the CUs made were so much like that in their own home. Well duh. The children want consistency ... He was also surprised that I let the children pick out their own room color. Well, #1. it's only paint. #2. It's their room. #3. I don't have to look at it. So there. But, I didn't say anything sarcastic. Just said that CU-3 will soon be making her own choice too. DXH part 2 feigned surprise.
Almost at the one hour mark, they finally left. DXH part 2's parting shot was to suggest that maybe we should get together on a monthly basis (all eight of us) for brunch. Ah yah right. This from the couple who just mere weeks ago continued to verbally and emotionally abuse me and the children. Ah yah, sure.
No no boys. I said yes to CU-1's request because:
#1. This IS his home too, and he is allowed to invite his friends home and have them feel welcome.
#2. I've spent the last f-o-u-r y-e-a-r-s waving the forking laurel wreath around. What does that say to you? That suddenly, because you suggested CU-1 has extended an invitation, that you're a hero and being a big person for accepting an invitation that's been extended to you over and over and over again.
#3. I'm hoping that you all come to your senses and not just ignore the hard won arbitration "agreement", that you recognize your hard-ass tactics with the children just were not getting you anywhere and that we're coming up to the very very important teen years when lots of emotions and coming-of-age shit gets mixed up and that their lives better have settled, safe havens to land or you are playing a crap shoot with them deciding to make permanent decisions about where they live and how often they see you.
#4. C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y. Children thrive with consistency in their lives, though it doesn't preclude spontaneity. When you have a child who has difficulties, and has diagnosis's that suggest consistency in all aspects of that child's life might reduce the bumps, well ******, what do you think that might mean? (Oh wait a minute, that's right, perhaps this question is to hard to ask the guy who rewrote the definition of monogamy.)
So, for the benefit of OUR kids. I'll kiss your ass, or, really, make that DXH part 2's hairy back side, as he's the one wearing the skirts in your household, in order to make this work for OUR kids. As of right now, I just don't think I'm open to brunch. I think my dance card is full. I have to wash my hair. I have to vacuum the cat. My mustache needs trimming. There's the litter pan to clean. I have to re-grout the tub. And, of course, there's that much needed root canal.
But, thanks for coming.
D-Day
So it's D-day. As I write this, we are within throwing distance of the bewitching hour to when DXH and his posse arrive. I've given up trying to tidy up the front room for the third time this morning. It's got a nice, rumbled, lived in look, well, because, we live here.
CU-2 and I have been batting around options for her not to be readily available to this event - crafts, a must-run errand, a trip to the park. She thinks CU-1 is out to lunch and that the whole thing is just too weird.
We took Grandma C's advice to close off doors so that CU-1 could invite his father to see his room, while giving everyone else privacy.
I feel foolishly buoyant about the event. Lack of sleep? Nerves? (Nah - I usually feel like throwing up.) Maybe something good will come of this. Here's hoping.
CU-2 and I have been batting around options for her not to be readily available to this event - crafts, a must-run errand, a trip to the park. She thinks CU-1 is out to lunch and that the whole thing is just too weird.
We took Grandma C's advice to close off doors so that CU-1 could invite his father to see his room, while giving everyone else privacy.
I feel foolishly buoyant about the event. Lack of sleep? Nerves? (Nah - I usually feel like throwing up.) Maybe something good will come of this. Here's hoping.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Survival
Bad to say that a blog entry has to start with that. But this is different. It's a good survival. We survived pizza night with CU-1 and 2 successfully inviting a friend over each for dinner. We even got an extra cling-on that CU-1's invitee knew and thus a mutual friend of the two.
The highlight of the evening was CU-2 coming in to tell me that a neighbor two houses down came out and asked my children to be quiet because she was trying to watch TV. HA! I've lived on this block for four years and have yearned for the sound of children screaming with glee and pleasure. Apparently she prefers a more adult street.
Who knows if she's going to get to see that soon. We've had a LOT of homes up and down for sale within hours of an open house taking place. The latest that's up is next to the day care. They're having an open house on Sunday. I figure DH and I will take in the place after the adventures with DXH and assemblage.
On that note, I'm still not sure how things are going to shake out. A quick touch-base with CU-2 is an interesting barometer of the situation. Being way to old in character then the tender * years on the planet, she said she didn't know why we were doing it when we don't like one another.
My response was that it's because we love them so much that we do those kinds of things.
I also gaged her receptiveness to showing her room, if a tour of the house is an option. She said she wanted her door closed. Her choice.
The highlight of the evening was CU-2 coming in to tell me that a neighbor two houses down came out and asked my children to be quiet because she was trying to watch TV. HA! I've lived on this block for four years and have yearned for the sound of children screaming with glee and pleasure. Apparently she prefers a more adult street.
Who knows if she's going to get to see that soon. We've had a LOT of homes up and down for sale within hours of an open house taking place. The latest that's up is next to the day care. They're having an open house on Sunday. I figure DH and I will take in the place after the adventures with DXH and assemblage.
On that note, I'm still not sure how things are going to shake out. A quick touch-base with CU-2 is an interesting barometer of the situation. Being way to old in character then the tender * years on the planet, she said she didn't know why we were doing it when we don't like one another.
My response was that it's because we love them so much that we do those kinds of things.
I also gaged her receptiveness to showing her room, if a tour of the house is an option. She said she wanted her door closed. Her choice.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A two fold problem
DH and I are going through a bumpy batch. A lot of turbulence. It's pretty rough. Like really cheap toilet paper.
You could suggest that my suggestion to build a porch is at the heart of the problem. I don't think it is.
Currently we're waiting for news about refinancing to attend to the last costs associated with the reconstruction of the house. That news should be through either today or tomorrow.
Meanwhile, DH is panicking like only he knows how. (Actually I've done it too, just not about money.)
He's panicking that some how we're going to loose the house. This, I think, is his biggest fear. You see, we have to come up with about $10k more to pay off the contractor. Meanwhile, he'd like to merge all of our debts so that repayment is lower. Ok. Sounds reasonable. Right? Wrong. Not in his eyes. He's panicking that the financing will not be enough (even though the mortgage broker has said she could get enough money herself). So, there should be no issue.
Oh now. Yesterday night we had a slap-fest (where I reverted to calling him a RAT [oooohhhh big name calling there eh? What's next calling him Baby La La? Ouch that'll sting]) because he was sandbagging the conversation (we're one paycheck away from loosing the house [not true], we wouldn't survive if there was a lay off [I'm am contractually obligated to return to work for a year at the end of the maternity leave, and it's unlikely the Feds are so bloated right now that there will be layoffs. DH just got a personalized pen from work, and is fast tracked to get his performance review and retroactive raise in place). Hmmm. And on when the in-comprehensive blather. (Yes DH, if you dare read this - it was blather - as I exposed a realistic light on each of your concerns.) Not even a call to your mother, to try and get your fears settled there, soothed you.
Really, WTF is the problem with talking to people to get a free estimate on the costs associated with building a porch? FREE ESTIMATE. NO OBLIGATION. It's called educating yourself.
For the record, each time I've asked you about the freaking porch - I've started small - can we move the stairs to the entryway from the left side to the right side. Can we look at options and solutions available to us? What are all the options for this fiscal year?
You some how mis-hear this and start hearing full blown plans for the porch. Because of your willingness to talk about the porch (and then the subsequent five-year landscaping plan) I run with is. Tooo many times have I been sucked into this cycle.
Now - part two - my side of things, as I see it.
I'm at home .... all day ... almost every day. Work doesn't want me to come in right now. They've got nothing for me to do that I could do from home, that doesn't require face-to-face contact with external clients.
Cleaning, painting and laundry are not my favorite things. Playing with CU-4 is nice, though not so fulfilling for me as I didn't receive the full motherly gene - especially for this age.
I get to look at and use unfinished parts of the house every day, all day. I see every bruise, every wrinkle ALL THE TIME. When you get home, I get a stressed out guy. Gee, like I haven't been dealing with that for a good part of the day. I get a tired guy. Gee, it's not like I don't get to deal with tired people at all all day, every day. (And this is also on night of broken sleep five days a week, often more.)
There is so much I can't do. There is so much I could do. However, like you and the wall project, I want some one -- YOU -- to be there for me so that we can walk and talk our way through the problems.
I'm not a big spender. You should know that by now. I do want things to be moved to a place where I then could pick up the hammer and do something.
I am feeling a lot of things right now. Unfulfilled is probably the biggest thing.
So, unfulfilled meets your issues that you bring home from work, plus the house issues that still are not solidified, plus future financial issues. Doesn't help that I've actually lowered my guard to such an extent where I have come to rely on you as a partner.
It's a pretty sucky place for us to be right now.
End of blather.
You could suggest that my suggestion to build a porch is at the heart of the problem. I don't think it is.
Currently we're waiting for news about refinancing to attend to the last costs associated with the reconstruction of the house. That news should be through either today or tomorrow.
Meanwhile, DH is panicking like only he knows how. (Actually I've done it too, just not about money.)
He's panicking that some how we're going to loose the house. This, I think, is his biggest fear. You see, we have to come up with about $10k more to pay off the contractor. Meanwhile, he'd like to merge all of our debts so that repayment is lower. Ok. Sounds reasonable. Right? Wrong. Not in his eyes. He's panicking that the financing will not be enough (even though the mortgage broker has said she could get enough money herself). So, there should be no issue.
Oh now. Yesterday night we had a slap-fest (where I reverted to calling him a RAT [oooohhhh big name calling there eh? What's next calling him Baby La La? Ouch that'll sting]) because he was sandbagging the conversation (we're one paycheck away from loosing the house [not true], we wouldn't survive if there was a lay off [I'm am contractually obligated to return to work for a year at the end of the maternity leave, and it's unlikely the Feds are so bloated right now that there will be layoffs. DH just got a personalized pen from work, and is fast tracked to get his performance review and retroactive raise in place). Hmmm. And on when the in-comprehensive blather. (Yes DH, if you dare read this - it was blather - as I exposed a realistic light on each of your concerns.) Not even a call to your mother, to try and get your fears settled there, soothed you.
Really, WTF is the problem with talking to people to get a free estimate on the costs associated with building a porch? FREE ESTIMATE. NO OBLIGATION. It's called educating yourself.
For the record, each time I've asked you about the freaking porch - I've started small - can we move the stairs to the entryway from the left side to the right side. Can we look at options and solutions available to us? What are all the options for this fiscal year?
You some how mis-hear this and start hearing full blown plans for the porch. Because of your willingness to talk about the porch (and then the subsequent five-year landscaping plan) I run with is. Tooo many times have I been sucked into this cycle.
Now - part two - my side of things, as I see it.
I'm at home .... all day ... almost every day. Work doesn't want me to come in right now. They've got nothing for me to do that I could do from home, that doesn't require face-to-face contact with external clients.
Cleaning, painting and laundry are not my favorite things. Playing with CU-4 is nice, though not so fulfilling for me as I didn't receive the full motherly gene - especially for this age.
I get to look at and use unfinished parts of the house every day, all day. I see every bruise, every wrinkle ALL THE TIME. When you get home, I get a stressed out guy. Gee, like I haven't been dealing with that for a good part of the day. I get a tired guy. Gee, it's not like I don't get to deal with tired people at all all day, every day. (And this is also on night of broken sleep five days a week, often more.)
There is so much I can't do. There is so much I could do. However, like you and the wall project, I want some one -- YOU -- to be there for me so that we can walk and talk our way through the problems.
I'm not a big spender. You should know that by now. I do want things to be moved to a place where I then could pick up the hammer and do something.
I am feeling a lot of things right now. Unfulfilled is probably the biggest thing.
So, unfulfilled meets your issues that you bring home from work, plus the house issues that still are not solidified, plus future financial issues. Doesn't help that I've actually lowered my guard to such an extent where I have come to rely on you as a partner.
It's a pretty sucky place for us to be right now.
End of blather.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Vocabulary builder
Is has been reported that my dearest CU-3, my gentile CU-3, my baby has used the word CRAP.
DH was the one to report this too me. Allegedly CU-3 said she was hungry. When asked what she wanted for breakfast, she brightly chirps up "Crap! I wannnnnnt it."
Not sure that he was hearing correctly, DH has CU-3 to repeat. "I wannnnnnt crap."
Though it took DH a couple of more times to decipher what CU-3 really wanted (candy for breakfast), I am happy to report that CU-3 eventually did get fed and had a crap-free breakfast.
DH was the one to report this too me. Allegedly CU-3 said she was hungry. When asked what she wanted for breakfast, she brightly chirps up "Crap! I wannnnnnt it."
Not sure that he was hearing correctly, DH has CU-3 to repeat. "I wannnnnnt crap."
Though it took DH a couple of more times to decipher what CU-3 really wanted (candy for breakfast), I am happy to report that CU-3 eventually did get fed and had a crap-free breakfast.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Better then a soap opera
XDH responds:
see you then,
My response:
CU-2's interest in dance is general. We've talked about it for over a year. There is a studio near the SuperStore on Richmond which she could attend. However,if you choose to register her to the one closer to your home, could you please provide me with the details. We will make every effort to get her to her lessons.
Do you need additional information so that the children can attend their other extra curricular activities?
See you Sunday, September 23rd. I'm sure CU-1 is thrilled with your accepting the invitation. This could go a long way to bringing peace to both households.
* * * * *
What the $#%@ was I thinking? :D
Re: Kung Fu classes: CU-1 and Partner of DXH take private lessons 3 times a week - the benefit of regular attendance is built in. CU-1 gets more focused time on Saturdays, Mondays and Wednesdays, the classes are designed for them, the test are schedule in accordance to their knowledge.
CU_2's interest for dance lesson is linked with her friend, if we were to enroll her she would want to be in the same class, so I would not choose the location, I was told that the studio is in the west end, less than 5 minutes away.
Thanks for the invitation, Doglette, Partner of DXH and I can make it Sunday after 13:00 - (sunday is the 23rd not the 22nd)
My response:
CU-2's interest in dance is general. We've talked about it for over a year. There is a studio near the SuperStore on Richmond which she could attend. However,if you choose to register her to the one closer to your home, could you please provide me with the details. We will make every effort to get her to her lessons.
Do you need additional information so that the children can attend their other extra curricular activities?
See you Sunday, September 23rd. I'm sure CU-1 is thrilled with your accepting the invitation. This could go a long way to bringing peace to both households.
* * * * *
What the $#%@ was I thinking? :D
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Playing chicken
DXH writes:
"CU-1 mentioned on several occasions that you agreed to invite us over to your house in order for the pets to meet and to sample some of your homemade treats (ice cream sandwiches, cake, and other goodies). Let us know if you still want us over and what time would be convenient for you.)"
I respond:
"I appreciate your willingness to come for a visit. CU-1 and I have talked about it many times. How about Sunday, September 22 at 1:00 p.m.? Please advise if you are able to make that date. I will work with CU-1 to prepare a treat for your visit."
"CU-1 mentioned on several occasions that you agreed to invite us over to your house in order for the pets to meet and to sample some of your homemade treats (ice cream sandwiches, cake, and other goodies). Let us know if you still want us over and what time would be convenient for you.)"
I respond:
"I appreciate your willingness to come for a visit. CU-1 and I have talked about it many times. How about Sunday, September 22 at 1:00 p.m.? Please advise if you are able to make that date. I will work with CU-1 to prepare a treat for your visit."
Humor in the every day
Lately I've not been blogging about humorous stuff. It seems that the day-to-day-to-day-to-day grind has really busted my chops. The constant hurling of insults, the scrapping and the flying of fur (and that's just between the cats!) has taken a tole.
Today is different though. I've been reading www.megfowler.com as part of my morning ritual (as well as FBorFW and Miss Vicky's Offhand Remarks) and love them all to pieces. They're funny, frequently insightful and take me other places then where I am. Which is a good thing as I usually obsess about stuff going on in my immediate hand-span area.
In this week's request to post from Meg, she asked to write a list of things that others talk way too much about. Though number one was an easy tree to shake (my DXH), I poled DH to see if there was anything else I was nattering on about that bothered him. (It turned out to be an interesting survey as apparently he doesn't pay close attention to what I say.)
So while pursuing other people's lists, I found a couple other links that got put on my quick task navigation bar. Congratulations to Raising the wrecking crew and This chick's life. More traffic to you! ;-)
Today is different though. I've been reading www.megfowler.com as part of my morning ritual (as well as FBorFW and Miss Vicky's Offhand Remarks) and love them all to pieces. They're funny, frequently insightful and take me other places then where I am. Which is a good thing as I usually obsess about stuff going on in my immediate hand-span area.
In this week's request to post from Meg, she asked to write a list of things that others talk way too much about. Though number one was an easy tree to shake (my DXH), I poled DH to see if there was anything else I was nattering on about that bothered him. (It turned out to be an interesting survey as apparently he doesn't pay close attention to what I say.)
So while pursuing other people's lists, I found a couple other links that got put on my quick task navigation bar. Congratulations to Raising the wrecking crew and This chick's life. More traffic to you! ;-)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mixed nuts
In a fit of frustration, I yelled at two of my CUs "ARE YOU NUTS?"
When they didn't respond (and I realized I was yelling because of my own anxiety arising from managing the immediate surroundings [crossing the street]), I immediately toned down my voice and said "Yah you are. You (pointing to CU-2) are a peanut. You (pointing to CU-3) are a cashew."
Whew. Another parenting foible skim-coated.
* * * * *
During the quieter moments of this weekend (which were very few and very far between), I got to thinking about self-promotion. I had been moving some of my photographs around the house, trying to cover up some of the bald spots, when I got to thinking about the studio tour going on this weekend, and how it's a chance for artists to show their work in their studios. As a photographer, I don't have a studio where I create art. As a photographer, it's harder to find places that will show my work because most don't see photography as art. Thus the conundrum - how to self-promote?
So, here I was thinking what about a Kitchen Gallery? (That's where I currently have four mini-shows going on right now! I started pulling through the ideas - one Saturday a month - 2 to 4 p.m. having a vernisage, show the work?? Crazy. I think I'm a Buckeye.
When they didn't respond (and I realized I was yelling because of my own anxiety arising from managing the immediate surroundings [crossing the street]), I immediately toned down my voice and said "Yah you are. You (pointing to CU-2) are a peanut. You (pointing to CU-3) are a cashew."
Whew. Another parenting foible skim-coated.
* * * * *
During the quieter moments of this weekend (which were very few and very far between), I got to thinking about self-promotion. I had been moving some of my photographs around the house, trying to cover up some of the bald spots, when I got to thinking about the studio tour going on this weekend, and how it's a chance for artists to show their work in their studios. As a photographer, I don't have a studio where I create art. As a photographer, it's harder to find places that will show my work because most don't see photography as art. Thus the conundrum - how to self-promote?
So, here I was thinking what about a Kitchen Gallery? (That's where I currently have four mini-shows going on right now! I started pulling through the ideas - one Saturday a month - 2 to 4 p.m. having a vernisage, show the work?? Crazy. I think I'm a Buckeye.
Friday, September 07, 2007
MegFowler made me do it
MegFowler over at MegFoweler.com has come up with the idea of the Friday love list. Great idea.
Here's what I put up in response to her quest to share:
picking veggies in the garden
a really really good book that draws you through with velocity and force
snail mail mail
mailboxes on posts (country style)
overgrown or messy gardens
shoes that fit
going to bed and actually being able to sleep
garlic (I’m cooking with it right now!)
Pizza night
When Child Unit 3 says it’s a beautiful day
going to Giant Tiger just to look at stuff
trips to the library with everyone in tow
Autumn
Here's what I put up in response to her quest to share:
picking veggies in the garden
a really really good book that draws you through with velocity and force
snail mail mail
mailboxes on posts (country style)
overgrown or messy gardens
shoes that fit
going to bed and actually being able to sleep
garlic (I’m cooking with it right now!)
Pizza night
When Child Unit 3 says it’s a beautiful day
going to Giant Tiger just to look at stuff
trips to the library with everyone in tow
Autumn
It's Annie Lennox time again
Remember her?
Well, when I went to drop off CU-4 today, CU-1 was re-coiffed, as he'd mentioned yesterday. I wonder if he'll ever see the natural colour of his hair ... Oh well, it is only hair. (Oh, and, well, now, he looks MORE like CU-4, though CU-4 has more!)
Keep your head up -- Movin' on
Well, when I went to drop off CU-4 today, CU-1 was re-coiffed, as he'd mentioned yesterday. I wonder if he'll ever see the natural colour of his hair ... Oh well, it is only hair. (Oh, and, well, now, he looks MORE like CU-4, though CU-4 has more!)
Keep your head up -- Movin' on
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)
Annie Lennox
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Annie Lennox
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Hold your head up - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up - Movin' on
Hold your head up - Movin' on - Keep your head up.
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