D day is upon me

Today is D day for many parents in my region. I'm still not sure if all the school's policies are the same. At my kids' elementary, you are required to present yourself to get a copy of your children's report card. They do this because for some parents, it's the only time they'll see them.

For me, it's a very emotional day. Coming up against a system that I do not have found memories of; coming up against a person from whom I felt abused me emotionally and psychologically; feeling out numbers and then, having my children, whom I love, be critiqued is rough.

This morning, while talking to my day care provider, I broke down. I'd been pretty tough to this point, able to put on a brave face. I'm just loosing it now.

Talk to a guy, they'd say "Tut tut. Stiff upper lip and all that." I'm trying.

Logically I know I'm not responsible for what my children put down (or don't put down) on a test paper. I put in my time with each. I help them prepare their school work when they need direction. It still doesn't help me with feeling like I'm walking into a very nasty situation in a couple of hours.

Then again, I could be wrong.

***
UPDATE

So I panicked for a lot of nothing. CU-1 got a lovely report card, though the grades are on a heavy curve.

I still got it between the eyes for allowing CU-1 to pack too many books to school. WHAT? I told the teacher (with DXH and DXH's squeeze in tow) that it's like a police state now - we're patting him down every morning and that I don't know how he's getting the books out the door.

I also was told that allowing this kid to take out and read 40+ books a week was too much and that he wouldn't have space in his head to keep his studies present. Um well, as my DH pointed out: 1. What's he reading? (mostly comic books, though the X wants him to read more grown up books ... really what's with that? They guy certainly doesn't model it and only reads magazines with pictures! 2. How's he reading? for pleasure or for comprehension. Those are two different styles of reading.)

With CU-2 - there was a beautiful line from the teacher: "which one of you is the father". I relish that comment and appreciate her straightforwardness on it. DXH's complaint with CU-2s report card? Shouldn't she be getting all As? Well, let me see, she's doing splendidly in her English language course work (despite your disinterest in her learning English) and her other big problem is slowing down to read the question, which I told you. Big deal. She's a relatively happy, well adjusted, likeable girl. I say leave her alone on the marks (she knows the material, on tests, it came out sideways) and support her life outside the school.

Oh, that's right, pigs may have to sprout wings for you to consider that. Oh well.

Anyway, part one of what I perceived as December's major train wreck has come and gone. Next week we have another face-to-face meeting where they'll have another crack at me. Once that's done, we don't have to have face-to-face contact for another term and I won't have to revisit my ghosts until then. Yeha and Happy New Year.