96 bottles, er, days left

Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, and rightly so. It tends to eat away at the very fabric of one's core if not held in check.

Regrettably, I figure this attribute is my worst character flaw.

What brings on this bout of angst you may wonder? I checked in with work this morning to read the weekly departmental wrap sheet.

Sigh.

With being out for a year on maternity leave, it's hard for me not to be part of the work environment. I feel fulfilled there and I get fulfillment from the work I do. I feel like I'm doing something more then laundry, which is not what I wanted to do when I grew up.

In today's release, there's a good, dedicated space to a colleague who picked up the 2nd, and more visible half of a project I struggled with. On one hand, I'm thrilled to be away from the project. It was gross, and my bain. On the other hand, I can be big enough to recognize that she's well on working a difficult project. On the other hand, without me mucking about in the trenches, I don't think she would have had the chance, nor would it have been this amiable.

Thus the bout of jealousy. It's eating at me. I want to be back at work. It was MY project damit! It was my turn to shine. It was my turn to get a chance at the golden ring! (Chances for me seem to come around less often then for my colleague. I just don't have the perky personality to grease the way up the ladder.)

Ooooh. Is that being too bitchy?

Like a cow, I'd like to be outstanding in my field.