The end

So, it came and went.

A one hour visit, just like one big happy family. (Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.)

Almost on the dot, it started.

They sneaked by the century standing on guard by parking around the corner. Didn't want to be too conspicuous did they?

The doorbell bonged while I was sneaking the coffee pot to the front room so that CU-1 could more easily serve his guests.

I said a quick hello to the floor as they walked in, and quickly moved to the other door so that I could let CU do what he needed to do.

Apparently DH walked right into the fray and got invited to coffee. Apparently he didn't hear me announce that the posse had arrived.

I went back to my work in the yard, an equally laborious task trying to turn over sun-hardened mud. (I'm turning that part of the yard back to grass ... until I can think of something else to do with it.)

After about 15 minutes of work, ease dropping on them using the room monitor feature that our phone has (the phone had been set up to monitor CU-4 while he slept), I went in to show my face.

It was awkward. Here I am in my own house, and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable. CU-2 warmed up to the occasion, which reduced my discomfort. CU-3 was all over my DXH, which was just weird, considering how starchy he appeared. DXH's partner, (I'll have to come up with a name for him as he might start becoming a regular here ... hmmmm DXH part 2?), with dogglet force field fully engaged (dog on lap pose) was having a chat with CU-1 and DH. Weird. All very weird.

DXH part 2 was carrying most of the conversations. Sometimes it's good to be a seriously gay man, it seems to come with an amazing ability that covers awkward social situations. This one really was one of those times when DXH part 2's talents just shone through.

So on this went for a good 30 minutes. I prompted CU-1 to give a house tour to the DXHs, which, in satisfying their curiosity, perhaps they'd get the feeling they could then move on to something else.

CU-2 had warmed up enough to show off her room. CU-1 did his as well. DXH part 2 remarked how much the color choices the CUs made were so much like that in their own home. Well duh. The children want consistency ... He was also surprised that I let the children pick out their own room color. Well, #1. it's only paint. #2. It's their room. #3. I don't have to look at it. So there. But, I didn't say anything sarcastic. Just said that CU-3 will soon be making her own choice too. DXH part 2 feigned surprise.

Almost at the one hour mark, they finally left. DXH part 2's parting shot was to suggest that maybe we should get together on a monthly basis (all eight of us) for brunch. Ah yah right. This from the couple who just mere weeks ago continued to verbally and emotionally abuse me and the children. Ah yah, sure.

No no boys. I said yes to CU-1's request because:

#1. This IS his home too, and he is allowed to invite his friends home and have them feel welcome.

#2. I've spent the last f-o-u-r y-e-a-r-s waving the forking laurel wreath around. What does that say to you? That suddenly, because you suggested CU-1 has extended an invitation, that you're a hero and being a big person for accepting an invitation that's been extended to you over and over and over again.

#3. I'm hoping that you all come to your senses and not just ignore the hard won arbitration "agreement", that you recognize your hard-ass tactics with the children just were not getting you anywhere and that we're coming up to the very very important teen years when lots of emotions and coming-of-age shit gets mixed up and that their lives better have settled, safe havens to land or you are playing a crap shoot with them deciding to make permanent decisions about where they live and how often they see you.

#4. C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y. Children thrive with consistency in their lives, though it doesn't preclude spontaneity. When you have a child who has difficulties, and has diagnosis's that suggest consistency in all aspects of that child's life might reduce the bumps, well ******, what do you think that might mean? (Oh wait a minute, that's right, perhaps this question is to hard to ask the guy who rewrote the definition of monogamy.)

So, for the benefit of OUR kids. I'll kiss your ass, or, really, make that DXH part 2's hairy back side, as he's the one wearing the skirts in your household, in order to make this work for OUR kids. As of right now, I just don't think I'm open to brunch. I think my dance card is full. I have to wash my hair. I have to vacuum the cat. My mustache needs trimming. There's the litter pan to clean. I have to re-grout the tub. And, of course, there's that much needed root canal.

But, thanks for coming.