Control freaks

There's a song that goes La da da da di, la da da da do. That's how I'm feeling right now if I was to give an honest response to my day/life.

I'm waiting for a report from my brother who had had tickets to see my bio father before the caustic email event. That will eventuallly click through. I'm more back-page gossip about it then anything.

Then there's my own, more up-close-and-personal soap opera. Got my own, personally directed caustic email from my DXH. The usual blather, this time taking on a new direction about the inapppriateness of my pressuing our jointly guarded CUs into making a living arrangement decision. Huh?

Let's see, I've been having talks with CU-2 about what's going on around her - our neighbor's who's "son" chose to live with his mother since that happened a couple of years ago. It's just going through the cycle again.

Got an earful from DH about it who raised concerns about my methodolgy. He's pulling up his own observations and experiences. I was/am disappointed that he would consider me taking a position of adversary and shit disturber and forcing my children into something. (Which is what my DXH is accusing me of doing.) I told DH that that wasn't the case. That when something comes up, CU has the option of talking to me about it. She had a question about why/how her grandparents divorced, so I told her a lite version that would make sense. Part of that story is my story about my choices. That I also told her she could make that choice. Meh.

He claims language barrier. I say nope. It's outside your circle of interest. You just don't care about "girlie stuff", emotionally charged stuff, seeking higher ground when it comes around knocking.

Any who, when this kind of thing does come up, I usually follow it up with something ridiculous like a statement that she can make that choice when she's 18 and wants to get away from us. Or when she's 35 and getting married, she'll have to decide if you want to live with his parents or us. Or that she'll have to buy a house with three wings, one for use, one for her father and his partner, and one for her. That usually lightens the subject and then we move on.

In this case, after I finished with the email, I wanted to find out what she said to her father to get a better bead on the situation. She had, indeed talked to her father about it. Regretably, she'd had a nightmare proceeding the discussion and in her nightmare, she wasn't allowed/wasn't going to see me any more. That upset her a lot. Thus, probably a one sided discussion with her father getting angrier and not being open minded about what she was saying. To add to this creme de merd, during that week, CU-1 had exited DXH's car to say hello to DH and CU-4 at school and didn't look for on-coming traffic. Both CU-1 and 2 were banned from exiting the car prematurely for the rest of the week.

The long and the long of it, CU-2 and I had what I considered a good chin wag. She did most of the wagging, I interjected, where I deamed appropriate "how do you feel about that". We covered a lot of ground. Everything from bad car smells, to what attributes make a friend, to crushes, to wet farts. Like I said, it was a lot of ground to cover.

I'm working very very very hard to be the kind of Mom the children feel comfortable coming to talk to, even when it's not something I really want to talk about.